You&I

2011-04-30T04:28:00.002+08:00

reading back our msn history.

& i realise it was me who made all these shit happened.

i made uu tired of me.

my fucked up attitude.

why cant i give in to uu more?

why cant i talked to uu nicely?

why cant i fucking understand that uu are only a 18years old boii who need to learn how to treat gurl right?

if i did not talk to uu like that, things wouldn't have faded.

why am i so fucking stupid to understand all these fucked shit?

i screwed the relationship up myself.

i screwed something i really love myself.

is all my fault.

im really really sorry.

i cant talk to uu now.

i cant care for uu.

i dunno how are uu doing there.

i wanna noe, i wanna care, i wanna love,

but ii cant.

because uu rejected me, totally.

i hate myself.

i fucking hate myself.

2011-04-26T17:26:00.001+08:00

tu ran hen xiang ni.

wonder if uu are feeling the same way as ii am.

2011-04-25T22:54:00.001+08:00

i wanna learn putt putt soon <3 (:

2011-04-24T20:21:00.001+08:00

looking back at the pass memories, compare it with now, is just fucking insane pain.

why did things change so much?

sigh.

Show Luo 羅志祥 - Only You (獨一無二) MV/HQ + MV/MP3 DL link

2011-04-24T16:27:00.000+08:00

2011-04-24T02:35:00.007+08:00

& finally,

i got the entire clear picture of what is in your mind.
i don't care if what you tell your friends and what you told me isn't the same anymore.

1-2weeks time to patch, i don't think so.

the hurt that you gave me, was so harsh and pain that it covered all the happy memories that we once had.

or perhaps, i should say, it overtaken the love that you gave me.

i did not block you in facebook.

but i private it from every single one.

so don't think im trying to run away from things.

im facing every single shit that you are giving me, strongly.

is time i should open my heart for another someone to come into my life.

someone who i can love and care and get the same in return.

as for you, i don't deny that you will always have a special place in my heart.

i don't deny that i still love you.

but the hurt is just so unbearable.

god is now letting me have a taste of how Chris felt.

& i completely understand it.

you will only understand how i felt till you found someone who you really love in the future, but i seriously hope, the feeling that im going thru now wont applies on you.

please please take care.

& all the best in life.

& from today onwards, i shall have this 2 rings on my finger.

till the day, i can let everything go, i will take both off.

the promises and love that i gave,

is something that i realise, i did fulfill it.

it's just you.

what do you really want?

2011-04-23T04:48:00.002+08:00

is nearly 5am.

im feeling really exhausted but my brain just cant seems to rest.

wo bu ming bai, wei se me shuo bu ai jui bu ai?

what are the things that you need, that even if we are together, you cant do? cant get?

am i not giving uu the freedom that you always need?

im not expecting much from you, really.

i just hope you realise how much you really meant to me.

how much i need you in my life.

fate is in our own hand.

if you think you can, you can.

why is it so hard for you to open up your heart to see all these?

you had been treating me really cold.

or maybe this is your naturally reaction to me now.

wo hen xin ku ke shi wo zhen de bu xiang fang qi.

zai ai wo zhen de you ne me nan mar?

chen jing ai wo de na ge nan ren dao di zai na li?

wo hai zai shun zao.

wo hai zai ten dai.

Jolin Tsai - Tuo Xie

2011-04-23T04:47:00.000+08:00

2011-04-21T12:50:00.001+08:00

im leaving le.

take gud care of yourself today and tomorrow okies.

probably uu dont even nid to me tell uu anymore.

i love you.

2011-04-20T22:05:00.002+08:00

wo hen tong ku. zhen de hen tong ku.

wo qiu qiu ni, hui tou kan yi xia wo men yi lu lai de ai, ke yi ma?

wo zhen de hen ai.

zhen de zhen de hen ai ni.

2011-04-20T00:59:00.003+08:00

wo ken ben dou bu xiang fang kai,

ke shi wo mei you xuan zhe.

wo xi wang ni zhen de hui huai le.

2011-04-19T13:00:00.003+08:00

overlooked his friend facebook comment yesterday.

asking "that time dunno who say he have no dunno what then want to dunno what then want to dunno what to dunno what what"

let me rephrase it better.

his statement should goes like this.

"that time dunno who say he have no feeling, then want to break up".

and his replied was"LOL zhen de shi leh lee xuan hui, wo mei you pian ni."

so all these while his just going according to my wish.

again and again i trusted him, he let me down.

you actually told your friends all these.

& me, telling ppl who are close to me that i want to turn back time.

im trying my best to turn back time.

how stupid am i.

i love you so deeply much, you just throw me aside.

all the hope, promises and wishes had now become a pool of shit.

can you at least spare a thought for me?

what am i exactly to you?

if this is what you wanted, i got no other choice but to fullfill it.

because all i ever wanted was you to be happy.

that's my mission, and im gonna make all your wishes comes true.

2011-04-18T21:12:00.004+08:00

starting to blog again.

at least, i can throw all my feeling out, here. somewhere that i can talk to.

things hasn't been going very smoothly for me. or should i say, totally ain't smooth.

the almost 2years r/s that i build up, that i put all my hope into it, just vanish into thin air.

what else can i say?

probably i just ain't a girl that he wanted.

maybe, I'm just a passer by, who stop by each country, looking at how beautiful the place is, and leave with only memories left in my mind.

and finally i realise, LOVE isn't everything to you.

at least, it is, to me.

i don't wanna let go,

even if I'm feeling lots a pain now.

I'm giving everything that i have and what i don't have to gain every last chance.

i just want things to be back to how it was.

him to care and love me.

am i really asking too much?

i felt the gap, i felt the distance.

but I'm just shifting my attention away from all these.

he told me "i will hurt you in the future", but why would you if you continue loving me and put effort and hope in it?

age gap.

i don't feel any of it, so why are you feeling so?

no one, no one can understand what I'm going thru now.

smile? how long can i have this fake smile?

him?

how long can we survive this battle that we are going thru now?

all i can do now is pray to god, to let everything go back to how it used to be.

to let him realise that if there's a will, there's a way.

to let him realise that, i do love him. deeply lots.

someone, anyone, please give me an answer to all these.

2010-10-13T13:48:00.003+08:00

im starting to get really really tired.

handover start yesterday.

& yes, im gonna move on with another task soon.

i swear i know im not a good teacher/guidance.

it sucks to teach. ._.

but than again, i got no other choice.

i had been set a target of time to teach her,

somebody is so freaking slowww.

ahhh ! i better stop whining and accept the fact.

hopefully the mortgage team wont die off later on. -.-

after work is always going home,

and do nothing,again.

i always need someone to accompany me.

be there for me.

but than again,

the outcome always disappoint me.

because,

i found none who can do so.

am ii asking too much in life?

maybe i am.

oh well. (:

life sucks ♥

2010-10-07T18:25:00.004+08:00

ahh.. down with gastric flu for these pass few days.

had mc for 3days. :( ..

oh well.

do nth but stay at home.

rot.

what to do.

boyf so bz with his sf, no time to entertain me.

is time for me to find my own activities !! :D

but than again, what can i do ? :(

goin back to work tmr.

& so fast friday liao. -.-

this week for for 2 days only.

bo liao.

seeing my friends going oversea,

make me really really wanna take an aeroplane and flyyyy to somewhere cold, nice atmosphere and great food !

i wanna go aussie :( .

ahhhh !!

dream dream, bring me please.

2010-10-03T15:53:00.002+08:00

& finally i found a blogskin, that somehow, ease my eyes. :) .

im back to blogging, i hope.

weekend had owez been bored.

like really really bored.

there is nth interesting i can do,

at least, for now.

maple --> facebook --> maple --> facebook.

and as for work,

work work work.

go out with colleague most of time is go drinking de.

& last friday, puke in the cab again -.-

not bcoz im drunk of what, its just that im bloated. -.-

very xinku so puke luh.

rightt.. im going out later (:

just a short while.

hopefully it will entertain me.

& not totally spoilt my weekend.

2010-10-01T15:49:00.001+08:00

its been ages since i last blog.

yes, not gonna blog till i feel like it.

those who had been waiting for me to update my blog, thank you. :)

will update next time round.

ciaoz ~

2010-07-28T19:41:00.002+08:00

life. changes so much.

i rmb how wealthy our family used to be.

we get everything that we want without fail.

we get all the best and latest gadget which no other kid could have.

more thn 8 expensive cars at home.

bungalow is the house that i stay in.

7 rooms, 7 toilets.

a swimming pool.

big bed rooms, triple the size of my room now.

2 maids to serve us.

1 guard.

rott wailer as my dog.

gold chain, diamond, branded stuff.

everything uu name it, we had.

& everything came clashing down when the family business falls.

at year 1997/98, all the things that ii mention, are no longer ours.

dad broke down. i couldnt understand as i was too young.

from there, we move to a smaller house.

mum cried every night, kept thinking how to pick up the financial again.

finding all and every single way.

bro was too young to help nor understand.

but i could see that he misses the family bond so much.

sis and i, are more to ourselves.

we manage to pull thru.

dad got himself a job, trying to swallow his pride, and his title "2nd boss" is gone.

i became very rebel.

i started cutting my wrist.

very bad tempered.

dye my hair at the age of 12.

guess what i want was just a little notice from my busy parents.

& at the age of 17, parents decided to move to singapore.

there is when the new journey started.

& now, me.

all grown up i guess.

i earn every single cents by my own hardwork.

mum and dad are both working.

my heart ache seeing them work so hard.

to make sure we wont starve.

bro is getting from bad to worse.

he totally ignore the existent of my parents.

he go in and out of the house whenever he lyks.

take $ from my mum and when my mum dont allow,

he started swearing and cursing.

i hope he grow up and understand how much we love and care for him.

bro, always remember that we love uu.

we wouldnt want uu to suffer in the future.

we want the best for uu.

uu might not understand now.

but im sure one of these days, uu will.

& i hope that day, will not be the day that mum, dad and i are already gone from this world.

2010-07-17T14:59:00.002+08:00

pure craps.

come back to the office on sat coz i got alot of things to clear,

in the end, printer down.

like wtf rite.

thn im stuck in the office,

dunno what to do ._.x

really feel like slapping those technical support.

making me waste my time.

think i will just go and catch a movie later,

since im already in town.

._.x

GRRRR ! -.-

despicable me !! :DD

2010-07-13T20:02:00.004+08:00

work was.. ahhhh !

irritated by her.

im so glad that im sitting far from wherever she love sitting with.

shes just so fake in front of her boss.

lucky my boss knows her attitude.

im getting bored in maple.

my best friend hu owez pei me now got a stead.

& im left alone.

i dont have a choice,

my bf is a soldier front freak.

he said he will accompany me.

i doubt so.

and yea, i ain't wrong.

do you guys know that kind of feeling,

like uu are really bz at work,

and you wish that the 1st thing you reach home was to spent some times with ur love one.

updating him what happen today in the office.

or telling him how much you misses him.

too bad, i don't have such life happening.

i mean no matter how you tell me that uu will spend times with me,

or telling me that i would never be lonely,

i just wouldn't feel it.

because is aint true.

even when i told uu that im home le.

what different does it makes?

you will just replied "i go sf(soldier front) awhile okie ?"

the question mark shouldn't even be there.

it should be a full stop.

uu are not even asking, uu are just informing me.

what different does it makes to have uu as my bf?

i read ray's blog.

talking about relationship.

very meaningful.

made me thought alot too.

guess uu just wont understand what i want or neither will you.

sometimes i really envy friends around me.

i really do.

all i want was uu to spent that free time with me,

is it really that hard?

think about it.

can YOU give me what i want?

things that i don't even ask much from YOU?

2010-07-12T19:51:00.002+08:00

dog with dog.

when uu put two dogs together,

they will bark at each other.

even if they are playing or having fun,

they still bark.

& when they are sad or tired, they whine but still BARK!

just like my bro and mum !

both born in the year of the dog,

and they are always barking at each other,

even in the middle of the night !

like 3+am?

when im lyk having such a hard time falling asleep,

& when i finally manage to,

they started barking!

angry die me. ._.x

slept at 11+pm.

keep waking up to see the world cup score.

wasn't on purpose, but my brain just told me to do so.

2+am, 0 - 0 .

3+am, 0 - 0.

4+am , the score is still 0 - 0 .

and ii finally fell asleep BUT i dreamt about ghost, soul ! -.-

!#$%^ !!

woke up at 6.21am when my alarm rang.

tmd. shag si wo.

called bii to wake him up, but cant get thru his freaking fone. ._.x

in the office,

tried so hard to open my damn eyes. ._.x

didnt really had a proper lunch.

had some kuih and a few mouths of rojak that ryan bought for us. (:

thn went and smoke with them.

left office on the dot. 6.30pm.

headed to the mrt station,

cramp and pack like fuck.

no place to sit, sua.

but the prob is,

there is problem standing too !

grrrr..

tell me !

what more shagness can my day be?!

too tired to even take my dinner. ._.x

nvm. i dont really take dinner nway.

1 more thing that i felt,

i think im putting on weight, AGAIN. =/

fruits or kuih for lunch!

starting from tomorrow.

or issit because my hair reached shoulder length.

and i look exactly like a lion? ._.x

i hate this stage of keeping long hair.

patient patient ._.x

i wanna dye my hair!

but what colour or how this time?

tsk tsk. :(

shag day.

shag si wo.

kill me please.

2010-07-11T19:11:00.002+08:00

manage to watched my karate kid today.

was extremely nice and meaningful.

storyline was great too.

lurve it :D

gonna watch despicable me after i get my pay.

really broke now. :(

thanks baby for spending ur hard earn $ on me. :)

i wonder how many ppl can tolerate my stubborn attitude.

or even playful yet sometimes, unbearable mood swing.

a gurl who is picky towards meal.

& hu got a "ta nu ren" attitude.

& then ii found him.

some1 hu is younger thn me by 5years.

but thank god, he dont seems or act lyk one.

hu will be able to take gud care of me.

& also learnt to accept everything and anything about me.

to guide me, and stop me from hurting myself.

to encourage and be there for me anytime i needed him.

hu also never fail to shower me with love, tho there are so many negatives things about me.

im glad i met uu.

& now, i realise, all the hardship and hurt i went thru last time was all worth it.

euu made me smile, always.

Happy 1st year anniversary baby. x3 !

xoxo ! (:

2010-07-06T08:39:00.004+08:00

bread spread with strawberry jam and cheese + cold soya bean made a not bad breakfast (:

at every 11am, my colleagues and ii will start to think,

"what to eat for lunch?"

superb sian with food below my office edi.

i think im just gonna have fruits today. :D

felt like i gain weight, again. ._.x

can uu imagine, so fat liao than still gain weight?

LOLs. ._.x

this 1week or so,

im hoping not to stress out at work.

go home on the dot if is possible.

BUT not not for today.

meeting from 5.30-7.30pm. -.-

i wonder why does work , works like that.

they dont pay uu O.T but they make uu listen to lots of craps?

2hours meeting?! can uu imagine that? ._.x

booooorrrriinnggg.. ~

in a result,

i need to take my bath and tugged in to bed once ii reached home. -.-

so ~~bloody~~ thank you.

im addicted to one of my iphone game that i downloaded it yesterday.

its call, "godfinger".

super cute and funn can? :D ..

or maybe for the time being only :x

oh yahh !

i so want the latest album from jay chou.!!

so many nice and meaningful songg ! D:

i want i want !!

any gud hearted ppl here willing to buy for me? =/

i wishh.

2010-07-02T13:19:00.003+08:00

& when things fade, it fades really fast.

i wonder how ppl can actually manage to catch up with such quick changes.

or is it just me who cant adapt changes?

ohh well.

lots of new things happening at work.

hahas. alot of surprising this as well.

my life is bored.

wake up --> work --> lunch --> work --> play maple --> sleep.

yea yea.

im still playing maple.

i lurve my char too much so i want the best for it.

hahas !

call me a maple freak. its alrite (:

oh yah, is the football fever now !

im gonna watch both match tonite with bro and cp :D

the most healthiest place to watch is Mac :x

Brazil vs Holland & Uruguay vs Ghana.

i cant wait for sat match, Argentina vs Germany !! :D

alrite.

thats all for now.

i miss someone deeply much.

you know who you are.

2010-06-08T20:16:00.002+08:00

nearly 4get my log in id and pw :x

yeah ! i know i know !

my blog is dead dead dead !

HAHAs!

i dunno what to blog about lar.

life kept repeating and repeating ._.x

nth interest me at all.

work was pretty hectic.

BUT,

the gud & happy thing about it is im sitting at the mortgage team area :D

so close to them.

felt so much as a family thn being backstabbed like toot.

idk,

i trusted a gurl so much in the same department as me,

but ii realise, ~~fairytale really dont exist~~.

so much for trusting and treasuring her.

told her my every single secret.

sms her my problem, why did i took leave for 2days.

[due to my fucking assignment the previous time]

and told her not to tell any1,

in the end?

she actually show that sms to someone else?

and when ii asked her, she deny it.

smart move (:

too bad, the gurl that uu show that sms to told me about it.

& alot more things that ii shouldnt know at all.

nway,

i thank you for doing so, at least, now i know who to trust and not trust.

who to treasure and hu not to treasure.

i treated uu like a real BFF, uu treated me like a pool of shit.

thanks yea. (:

oh yah,

rmb this,

*what goes around, comes back around*.

i sure u understand this more than anyone else.

okies. i shall stop whining.

so, i wanna go somewhere OUT from Singapore.

is getting bored here. =/

i wan fresh air, in fact, i want cooling air !

AHHHH !

1st choice is genting highland(somewhere cheap and near),

and my 2nd choice, aussie!!

i so wanna go ! D:

money money, fly to me pleaseeee..

okies.

im from here.

ciaoz! x3

2010-05-14T13:12:00.003+08:00

jac said im quiet today.

am ii?

hhmm..

what am ii thinking?

idk.

going for jason surprise b'day party after work.

with ryan and the rest of the team mates (:

gonna be funn ii guess :D

kathy lee and ii ordered a strawberry shortcake from four leaves.

collecting it at taka later (:

will try to take as much picture as i can.

need to sleep early today.

gonna play basketball with baby and my bro tomorrow morning.

so long didnt sweat it out already.

can at least release stress :D

btw,

i really really need to cut my hair !!

is getting out of shape !!

next week!!

hoho !

thinking of dyeing it black edi.

but ii feel like adding purple to it again ler. =/

considering.

whatever will be, will be.

2010-05-13T11:31:00.009+08:00

mc today.

bad menstruation cramp.

couldn't really get to sleep the whole night.

felt so uneasy.

woke up at 5am, took my bath and went straight to woodland.

stoopid bus161 so pack de.

hai wo stand all the way.

i bought breakfast for baby and pei him to work. :)

after that, i went straight to the doctor.

doctor pump my blood to check my blood pressure.
& yes, she said i do have high blood pressure.
asking me to go back 2weeks later for another test. =/
guess if 2weeks later, the blood still shot so high up, i need to be under some kind of medication.

sigh.

dunch think i wanna go back for that.

havent told baby about this. =/

later he worried north south east west.

wait till he read this bahs.

which like idk when.

so still can hide away :D

reached home and took my nap.
i can even dreamt about work even when im sleeping.

weirdd. ._.

dreamt that eugene huang sms me to ask me something!!!

!@#$%^

nway,

here's are some random pic ii took. :D

2010-05-09T01:51:00.002+08:00

just wanna put this pic, right in the beginning.

thanks again baby.

i love it. :)

due to the lag of sleep im having yesterday,

my saturday ended up sleeping for almost the whole day. =/

boring uhh.

slept at 4.30am last nite.

woke up at around 7am coz mummie was asking where did ii park the car.

yeap.

i told her that ii drove the car to look for bro.

and ask mummie to lied to daddie that she was the 1 hu drove it earlier on.

daddie got a very gud reverse parking,

so he will definitely find out that some1 drove the car after he park :x.

thn slept back till around 11+am.

woke up to have breakfast with baby.

& he left my house around 3pm.

continue my sleep at 4pm, woke up like 7+pm? :x

took my bath thn dinner.

well, im starting to watch xia yi zhan xin fu now.

watch till episode 5 edi.

still lurve hai pai tian xin more. :)

maybe bcoz is just the beginning.

lets just wait and see.

teehee. :D

and now im still so awake. =/

talking to aiai and ck in msn.

baby is asleep edi.

im sure he must been damn sleepy.

oh well,

is mother day's tomorrow.

i just wanna thank god for giving me such a pleasant and great mum.

i love my mummie deep deep :D

& of cause,

wishing all mother a Happy Mother Day's x3

2010-05-08T02:52:00.002+08:00

is 2.52am but im still awake. =/

work was so so today.

totally dunch feel like working. ._.

wore my new dress today.

kinda short. ._.

thn my colleague said ii look really girlish.

LOLs.

guess ii surprised them :) .

after work,

we went for the AGM.

it was really bbbooorrriinggg..

but luckily ii sat with reena and the rest instead of "her". ^^

so as usual, we are the noisest table, most happening until other keep staring and looking but we dont give a DAMN :D

it was really funn.

playing with boon huat name.

and we go "bbbboooonnnn HUATTTT arhh" to replace "yam seng".

LOLs.

and we keep making fun or the performance that they had.

so funnie :x

when im otw home,

around 10.30pm,

mummie called me.

and told me that bro took his bag and leave the house coz daddie scolded him for his bad behavior.

thn ii nagged mummie abit and sms bro.

his replied made me so worried.

for e.g : "leave me alone", "i will contact uu tomorrow if im still alive", "dont force me".

so ii called baby to asked him try contacting my bro but he cant reach my bro too.

i rushed home, and when ii reached sengkang, i wanted to take a cab home so ii can quickly take my bath and go out to find my bro.

when i was about to reach the taxi stand,

ii saw my bro sitting at the corridor, near the entrance,

so ii was like "OI. what are uu doing here?"

than he ji tao walked away. very fast. ._.

due to my stupid blister, i cant catch up.

so i sms him and screw him up.

thn baby was on his way to sengkang.

i rushed home, change a clean shirt and pants,

stole my parents car key.

met baby, and ii drove the car to find my bro.

alrite alrite!

i know is something stupid, dangerous and crazy.

but hey, how are uu gonna move around to find some1 at 12am?

._.

cp was like kinda scare at 1st.

but ii asked him to shut up and just buckle the seat belt.

LOLs.

i 4got to on the car light until one of the vehicle behind of me flashes his highlight.

no wander the car seems dark :x

than drove drove drove,

bro told me where is he so ii went over to fetch him.

wanted to drive to kovan 1st,

but dunch think is possible.

there's this truck hu keep looking at me edi. =/

park at the same slot my daddie parked.

but my reverse parking sucks !

lucky didnt bang the car beside of me. =/

btw, did i mention that i don't have a license YET? :x

gonna re new my PR and grab my license le bahs.

cant effort anything to happen.

so now,

need to settle my bro things.

family prob.

grrr !!

im always, always here for you bro. :)

2010-05-06T20:29:00.003+08:00

ohhh ! is finally Thursday! :D

i had a weird dream last night.

i dreamt that it was finally Saturday.

& i swear that i was smiling while dreaming.

suddenly my alarm rang.

i was still confuse why is it ringing on Saturday.

trying to recall what ii did yesterday even when im still dreaming.

than my brain flash back that ii got meeting yesterday.

which is only WED ! ._.

so today THURS!! ._.

so reluctant to wake up so ii snooze my alarm. ._.

until im ready to face another hectic day. =/

oh well,

today was so so.

except for that "rich ass" who keep asking me to do this and that.

want this and that.

ni tmd.

owez say "im not trying to add on to ur workload".

fuck uu lar.

uu are the worse manager i ever encounter.

so what if uu are earning like at least 10k a month?
or 60k last month?

big fuck issit?

no need to die?

see ur face is worse than seeing my GM and manager face can!

go and complain about me larhs ! _l_

._.

oh yah, we wont be eating the food court below our office liao.

theres baby cockroach crawling all over the place and some times, near the food.

!@#$%^

fucking disgusting.

gonna order MCD for lunch tomorrow ^^

something sweet & memorable today.

jac dropped an envelope in my bag.

she asked me to open it at home.

thn ii hand itchy, open it straight away. :x

she actually wrote a small note,

& slot $50 in.

woah.

i was like, wth is she giving me $ lar.

so the notes says :

"Dear Ting Ting, this is for you. I dont want to bring uu out to eat because i dont like to eat. keep quiet ok and take it. this is to say "thank you"."

i was like really touched can? :)

is not about the $, is the thought that counts.

really felt being appreciated.

my smoking buddy, a person hu i can share my feeling with.

ahhh.. thank god :)

hopefully im able to trust to right person this time.

no more backstabbing or making use of me please. =/

gonna have AGM tomorrow.

is a dinner function for Standard Chartered Bank.

gonna wear my new clothes.

hopefully it will look nice since ii haven't try it on b4. :)

FRIDAY, here ii come :D

you're the best thing i never knew i needed,

so when you were here i had no idea,

you the best thing i never knew i needed,

so now it's so clear,i need you here always :)

2010-05-02T20:46:00.003+08:00

watched IP man 2 on friday,

and today, Iron Man 2.

seriously, IP man 2 is so much better.

idk why.

hhmph!

Iron man was just so so bahs.

almost fall asleep ._.

had an argument with baby today.

about chili sauce. ._.

hu ask him to keep defending himself and argue back.

& uu know ii never like to lose in this kind of argument.

no no.

not gonna give in.

than in the end okie le luh.

he shut his mouth and keep following my back luh. =/

after movie,

when to rivervale mall for dinner.

than slack at my house block.

bro and cp keep play play play.

play fighting somemore.

thn i was like "why nobody play fighting with me?"

so my bro say "okies lar, play with uu"

& i was like so happily got up from my chair and tried to kick him.

he used his knee to dodge me.

& ii stupidly go and kick his knee.

now my leg blue black !! DDDD:

pain can?!!!

grrr..

shouldn't have play D: .

2010-05-01T18:36:00.002+08:00

1st of May 2010.

a day to remember about the past,

a day of memory flash back like nobody business.

from how we know each other,

to how we meet, where is the 1st place i saw uu,

when is the 1st time we kiss,

& how everything started,

& ended.

4 years,

i know uu are hoping for me to really give uu a surprise,

which is appear in ur doorstep today,

like right now.

but i didnt.

im sorry.

will uu be happy without me?

idk.

i really do hope uu are doing well there.

a place where there is a totally no longer me around.

no1 to wake uu up, no1 to make simple breakfast for uu.

no1 to touch ur face when uu are driving.

no more hugs & kisses.

we are far apart,

or maybe an easier way to put it,

we vanish from each other world,

im scare. im unsecure.

what should i say to uu?

to someone i break all my promises that i once promises him?

2010-04-27T20:40:00.004+08:00

my blog really seems dead and rusty.

too much things happen everyday.

my life, pretty great.

my work, is getting worse everyday.

idk why.

im getting sick of her attitude.

why cant i go back ~~early~~ on time?

why do i need to use "hide&seek" or even tip toe just to go home?

using 1001 excuses to leave the office on time?

this is freaking ridiculous, isnt it?

i just wish, hope and pray, for weekend.

fri, sat and sun is the time where ii will meet ray and cp.

go out with them.

& they seriously made my day each time. (:

thanks.

im back in maple.

like ohmigod rite?

-.-!!

finally got my iceberg. :D

and i self scrolled it.

pump in 9 60% [i bought an iceberg which had 9slots]

and pass 8 of it :D:D

happy si wo le.
nway, im not back to my training mood yet. :x

slacking FTW !

gonna webcam with baby real soon .

see his retard face each time just make me laugh hard.

HAHAHAHA :x

PIG ! ^(oo)^

ai x3

2010-04-09T23:15:00.003+08:00

when can we stop all this?

when can we stop quarreling?

im sick of it, aren't uu?

everyday, every week.

aren't uu tired?

but why all this?

are you happy seeing me sad?

crying?

is this true love?

where's the ~~fucking~~ fairytale?

2010-04-07T20:16:00.000+08:00

im such a big failure.

a big time failure.

2010-04-05T08:09:00.005+08:00

had a really unpleasant sleep.

haven't been having such retarded sleep for the longest time.

must be the fun and laughter which ii had too much yesterday.

went courts to finally get my vaio laptop.

chosen black (:

pretty expensive tho.

2k =/

mummie and daddie bought it for me. x3

lurve them.

than headed to bishan with my xiao di and met up cp for movie.

clash of the titan (3D).

seriously, story line is gud, 3D version makes the graphic even better and exciting.

really way much better than what i excepted.

worth watching.

had a mixture of dinner.

fries, roti prata and rice.

abit here and there. :x

thats what i love to do best.

taste everything.

LOL.

had nacho cheese in the cinema.

eat half way, cant finish liao.

pass to cp :x

keke..

i will need to leave work earlier today.

need to go to college and submit my last C programming assignment.

i just wish ii could PASS.

at least pass please.

i dont need any flying colour or swimming colour thingy.

prays hard =/

2010-04-03T22:28:00.004+08:00

today superb bo liao.

time passes by so fast de.

yst was suppose to watch movie with xuan and cp.

in the end, the Q so long,

mai watch liao.

went and eat at food court.

than walk walk awhile.

after that went sembawang arcade.

pei-ed xuan to his working place,

and i went home.

slept from 4pm till around 7-8pm.

tired si wo le.

woke up,

took my bath than went to woodland and meet ck and cp.

than ate mac.

sun bian wait for xuan to end his work luh.

went xuan reached,

he said something very funny.

about sex.

LOL :O

laugh dao i wanna die.

than today woke up at 11+am.

ate breakfast.

play pet society awhile than go back and sleep.

sleep until 3+pm.

sibeh tired.

dunno why.

after that,

play audi and slack at maple with cp and wei yan.

took my bath at around 6pm.

get ready.

than calvin came and pick me up luh.

than he today wear until very formal.

idk why.

LOL :O

so different.

style his hair lagi.

was supposed to go and sing k.

but in the end fully book.

so skip that activity luh.

so go and find food . we havent eat anything since morning.

he wanted to go new york new york, than suddenly thought of eating swensen.

than drive drive drive,

from sengkang -->chinatown-->pasir ris-->downtown east.

._.

parking all full.

Calvin tulan luh.

coz he hungry liao.

he said "a hungry man is an angry man" . -.-

thn he nearly bang into another car luh.

after that bo bian, go kopitiam and eat.

duck rice, not bad (:

later on dunno where to go.

wanted to watch movie but nick and Melissa quite broke.

so didnt manage to luh.

go home after that.

these few days hand itchy.

feel like playing maple again.

but scare no time =/

& i bought 30k cash :x

ho ho.

ho seh liao lar.

use so much $$$ lately =/

._.

2010-04-01T12:57:00.002+08:00

had been really bz with work lately.

bz till wanna faint.

oh well,

i just cant wait for today to end.

will be meeting Dior, delise and William for dinner at tcc orchard.

William treats x]

and yeayy !! it will be a long weekend after today !

woohoo ! :D

is been awhile since we last count how long we had been together.

today,

1st year anniversary of break up,ur concept.

47months of being together,my concept.

why am ii still holding on?

love?

memories?

future?

2010-03-31T08:06:00.002+08:00

i sense sick bug is approaching me.

really chiong study and work till im so tired.

now im using laptop instead of desktop in the office already.

nth to be amazed of.

laptop=more work for uu to clear.

calvin aka mao mao sent me home from work yesterday.

than he wants to slack below my house.

so okie okie lar.

bought 100+.

smoke,slack,sing and disturb him.

& now his naming me Miss Disturb coz i kept on wanting to burn his hair with my lighter.

he spoilt his own lighter when trying to snatch it back from me.

stupid to the max.

._.

guess his gonna send me home today again.

not bad.

drove from sengkang --> dhoby ghaut --> sengkang.

ask him mai come and fetch.

he die die want.

so okie luh. ._.

nway, is breakfast time now! (:

byes all.

2010-03-26T07:56:00.002+08:00

when did ii last blog?

i lost track.

when did ii last on9 using a proper pc and not iphone?

i lost track too.

when did ii at least log in to maple/audition?

same. lost track.

like fuck!

work work work.

assignment assignment assignment.

tmd.

i wanna find a different prospect in life.

but what kind of life do i want?

clueless.

i had been hurting ppl again and again lately.

screwed.

i didnt mean it okie.

YOU didnt ask in the 1st place what.

okies. dunch blame it on others,

blame it on myself for not bringing out the courage to tell uu about it.

ahhh.. have i make my choice?

yes? no?

nvm.

._.

2010-03-17T18:54:00.002+08:00

& again,

is another whining post.

im starting to get tired with life.

had argument with cp last sat & sun.

& i swore never, NEVER to step into a pool area again.

it bring nth but unhappy memories to me now.

i hate to see myself crying,

i had been crying straight since sat & sun.

screwed weekend.

i know, i did something foolish to stopped my tears.

i thought it will,

but nope,

it didnt.

hate it to the max.

monday was normal.

cp came to picked me up from work.

and brought me an extreme big lolipop.

thankeuu..

and i use that to hit his head :x

hu ask him to bully me !

hmmph !

punishment >=D

yesterday was worse.

im gonna have my test.

it was pretty hard.

but the good things about it was,

can sms, some even surf the net to get answer, open book and discuss.

cher like dont care ler :x

than ii sms-ed nick and kc to helped me out.

so nice of them lar. (:

hopefully i can pass lar. *keeping my fingers cross*.

oh yah, i was really moodless and weak in the office yst, and i split a cup of hot milo on my shirt.

can uu imagine?!!!

grrrr..

fucking careless sia.

bo bian asked my bro for help to take clothes for me all the way to dhoby.

than he late.

!@#$%^

haiss..

bad day sia yesterday.

& im freaking sick today.

menstruation cramp sucks to the core.

going off for dinner.

buayy buayyy.

i just want uu to love me, truthfully.

2010-03-13T13:32:00.001+08:00

my 1st test is on tues.
after 5years of not having exam,
revision,
homework.
and now, everything is goin on again.
=/
plus with work.
damn.
how long can i bear with all this craps.

2010-03-08T13:09:00.002+08:00

finally kinda like settle down at the new office.

okies.. talking about my new office,

is located just beside Park mall, opposite Plaza Sing.

cool or what? (:

so next time i dont have to do online/phone booking to reserve any "selling fast" movie tickets,

neither do i need to go all the way to town on weekends to shop around (:

and the damn cool things is that,

im staying at sengkang,

sengkang ---> dhoby ghaut.

is so much convenience can :D

i like.

the only things bad about this place is,

im far apart from the mortgage department[the department that im supporting].

but yeap,

i can only wait for my laptop to be issued than hot desking.

hopefully it will be here real soon.

patient, ting ting. be patient for abit longer & things will hopefully get better. ((:

i need to adjust my timing.

to LATER.

i reached office at 7.38am this morning can!!

crazy de! ._.

so i think i can leave house at around 7am now (:

than da pao OCK meehoon.

it taste yummy sia :D

havent take my lunch yet.

hungry. =/

shirley ordered pizza but is still not here yet.

awww..

back to work 1st.

tata :D

2010-03-05T08:24:00.003+08:00

i think it had reached my limitation of saying "YES","OK" or bearing with every damn things.

& whenever i tried my very best to get things done,

& tried so hard to manage everything without given other problem,

but everything just fall backs at me.

DONT tell me that im the best in my department.

coz it will make me felt like im a best in being a fool.

& now i wanna learn to say NO!

NO is a must LEARN ! _l_

fuck off old bitch.

2010-03-04T08:09:00.002+08:00

is finally Thursday.

just took my breakfast.

nasi lemak + vitasoy. (:

i think im gonna have gastric probs real soon.

is like i dont take my dinner (even if im hungry),

just dont have the mood to do so.

way too tired to even chew my food.

and i starve till the next morning where i will feel pain.

just like gastric. ._.

oh well.

heck care.

left work at 9pm yesterday.

80% of the commission are completed.

hopefully there wont be too much error when the finance is gonna check later. =/

most probably gonna stay back at work today & tomorrow as well.

will need to be the coordinator for the moving on sat and sun.

!@#$% ._.

yes. why so fuck up? ._.

i dont know either.

im having class today but guess i got no other choice but to skip it.

im like really lost track in class already.

but really no choice.

tons and tons of work to do nowadays.

and is like a "i cant say no" to it.

hopefully things will get better real soon.

im tired of working and working.

I FREAKING NEED A BREAK ! D:

2010-03-03T07:51:00.003+08:00

work is really hectic this week.

or probably next week as well.

this is the only time when i can take my time eating,

or rest my damn brain and head.

(when i reach the office 45mins earlier).

other than that is chiong chiong chiong.

is really pain in the ass.

when so many things just come at one shot.

class yesterday.

can cry.

i need to chiong my studies real soon also.

i got no time to interfere anything else anymore.

im tired.

i dont even have enough time to eat/sleep.

please! please give me a break.

im collapsing.

really, i am.

2010-03-01T08:11:00.001+08:00

all about argument,

trust,

hate,

hurt,

revenge,

guilty,

and most of all,

misunderstanding.

you guys had been friends for the longest time.

only uu guys know each other well enough.

gf like us, might not be the one who could bring uu joy.

uu guys know it well enough.

clear those misunderstanding.

get back the brotherhood.

i will be waiting to see.

dunch disappoint me pleaseee..

is a matter of letting go those pride,

step forward,

dont look back at unwanted memories.

i know uu guys can do it.

jiayou.

2010-03-01T08:05:00.002+08:00

all this precious moment,

with you by my side,

must be a gift from heaven,

thats holding me all night.

i dont know how i found you,

im thankful that i had.

now that i love so true,

to hold,

to keep,

to share.

in my heart,

i can no longer hold inside,

all of the love i used to hide,

i'll always be,

with you until the very end.

in this world,

there is no place i'd rather be,

you are my life,

my soul,

my boy,

and through it all,

i know that you've come to see,

that you're the one,

till the end.

2010-02-25T08:01:00.002+08:00

is thursday (:

1 more day to reach weekend, again.

like real excited.

excited over?

my beauty sleeep :x

was suppose to join the mortgage team for steamboat tonight.

but dunch think i can make it le.

coz i got class ! D:

lyk really sad coz ii hardly join them for any team building and stuff. =/

but is not lyk i dont want, is just that i cant.

hais.

did talked to chris over the phone last nite.

i know i bring him nth but hurt, and he, bring me nth but joy.

im just a meanie.

i know.

he asked me to remember his word,

"whatever i do, i do it because i love you"

sometimes, it just break my heart so much,

not knowing who do i love, who do i really want.

im just a fucking bitch who need to fuck her life off.

again,

i can only apologise to the both of you.

for it was me hu destroy the happiness and peaceful life that you both are leading.

i deserve nth but punishment.

im always in a dilemma state.

and i hate it.

2010-02-24T07:56:00.004+08:00

hse internet connection gone.

cant on9.

bastard singtel =/

lucky i still got my iphone to log in to msn and facebook.

kill my free time abit.

had gone to malacca for "bai nian" section.

got ang pow from chris mum and his aunty.

1st day

left home at around 9.30am.

chris just left malacca. =/

slack with dii at cwp.

ate long john silver.

the sandwich is huge can.

eat until i wanna die. ._.

drank orange juice than follow dii to arcade.

see him play max tune.

boh liao game sia.

chris sms-ed me.

saying he will be reaching anytime edi.

and im still at sg!!

rush to jb, met him at city square.

superb akward when i 1st saw him with his dii.

headed to the car,

drove around jb to look 4 food.

all close.

!@#$%^

in the end,

i had 1ooplus in a mak mak store.

chris handed me a box of gift.

inside there is that lil cute monster,

DOMOKUN ! (:

i kept hugging it.

huggable can x3

drove to malacca,

went jusco to buy "yu shang" for his mum.

bought bread & bubble tea too.

starving. =/

headed home,

took my bath.

talked to him mum awhile.

than went over to his aunty place for vegetarian steamboat.

not badd (:

sat at the living room while waiting for his mum,

talking to chris till im bearing with my tears, again.

left his aunty house and bro wanna try out satay celup so we went.

cried in the journey to the makan place.

idk.

im just so confuse, so sad.

ate satay celup, 4 persons only Rm40+.

but i didnt eat much. ._.

boh mood.

went home after that,

had another heart2heart talked to him.

cried again.

!@#$%^ .

._.

2nd day

woke up around 10-11am.

superb tired coz we slept quite late the nite b4.

his mum fried my favourite meehoon ! ^^

wash up, ate my breakfast than played ps3, street fighter. ._.

i think my bro is enjoying the meehoon more than me.

LOLs.

left home around 12pm.

went to pahlawan shopping.

i bought quite a number of things.

sticker for my iphone, a name wristband, 2 T-shirts and i did menicure.

heehee.. starry starry.

had mcd ice cream :x

was trying to find myself a shoe,

tried a purple nike shoe but it dont fit really well so i didnt buy it.

walk walk walk,

bump into wan lin.

both of us was like so shock can !

LOL.

normal lar,

gurls what.. hugs luh :x

than chat for around 5mins, and i continue my shopping spreed :x

oh yah,

the two alvin's ( chris bro name is alvin, so do my bro ) went playing datona and max tune at mahkota. ._.

2 boh liao games.

bought big apple's donuts and headed to my favourite staircase cake. (:

eat,chat,slack. x3

nice nice !

so creamy :x

than wanna go eat my favourite duck mee for dinner.

drove there, didnt open.

._.

ended up eating at another place where their food was pretty okie.

except for their salad you tiao.

never eat such digusting you tiao with fish paste b4. ._.

totally unwanted.

drove around and i keep bugging to buy a transparent plastic iphone cover.

so went back to mahkota.

finally found it ._.

got myself a card holder (:

teehee.

than headed to arcade,

chris crazy, trying to act young again.

played the dance machine, dj machine, intial D and basketball. ._.

played until ii wanna die can?! ._.

went to the bowling place and got myself a can of 100plus.

saw pool table so we played 1 round (:

i won!

coz he gave in to me ._.

reached home around 11pm.

took my bath,

on9 than talked to baby.

asked him a simple Q and he gave me a hurtful answer.

started getting really sad after reading that answer.

than chris suddenly pulled me out for smoke drag.

nearly burst out crying, but bearing with it.

got in the house, buey tahan.

cried like mother father died.

._.

just keep crying and crying until he dunno what to do.

and he dont even have a clue why am ii crying.

i keep bugging him to go in to the next room.

i wanted my bro so badly. =/

dunno why.

than my bro log in to msn and screw baby up.

chris was mad+sad coz i dont think he saw me crying like this b4.

well,

it happened twice in my life only.

i know it breaks his heart, seeing me cry like that.

im sorry.

im back to where i am now.

will there be changes, idk.

will i be happy, i hope so.

let the flow take place bahs. =]

2010-02-22T00:25:00.003+08:00

& when i asked you the most simple question,

a short and understandable answer was all i got.

"i don't".

2010-02-19T07:59:00.003+08:00

YEAH !

TGIF!! x3

haha.. it seems like i never fail to love friday.

but who dont like friday?

weekend the next day.

can stay up late, wake up late.

eat late, play till late.

LOL.

everything late. :x

will be heading to malacca with lil bro tomorrow and be back on sunday.

do some CNY visiting at chris house.

and have a little get together bahs.

is been ages since i last saw him.

hhm.. lets see..

more than half a year or so?

dunno what will it be like to see him again.

hopefully everything will turn out smooth and well (:

gonna have "lohei" in the office later.

will try to upload pics alrite.

teehee !!

would there be a turning point again?

2010-02-18T07:55:00.002+08:00

change my blogskin,

like finally.

a more simple and plain skin.

just like my life.

had been having early pms this few days.

got annoyed,frustrated,emotional over the smallest matter.

Pei man came over to my house and bai nian yesterday.

rush home as quickly as ii could so i can at least see her for awhile. (:

yea, ii heard my aunty laughter than ii reach the door pathway.

so happy.

they brought alot of things,

mandarin oranges, some CNY snacks and a carton or beer for my daddie and not forgetting bro and ii ang pow's. :D

haha..

daddie must be the happiest guy at that moment :x

took my bath and played a few rounds of audition BU.

i wonder why i can dont miss but the score is still losing out to the rest who are playing.

guess is because i cant really perfect those keys? =/

hopefully i get the hand of it.. soonn..

and because i was having some mood swing last nite,

i ignore bii's called,

nudges in msn was also ignored till he called my house but i hang up.

he must be feeling really worried and bad inside.

not knowing what happen or what to do.

sorry, ii guess im really having a hard time controlling my mood that is why ii choose to keep quiet.

really really need you to bear with me awhile okie? =]

2010-02-17T07:58:00.002+08:00

ahhh.. after 5days of rest,

what had ii been doing?

did went back to my grandma house for visiting on the 1st day of CNY (:

talked to my uncle,

collect ang pows,

and ate snacks.

the few days onwards wasnt any special days.

is more like,

sunday, spending time with my family and going out with friends.

sok kim and her beloved hubby dropped by my house yesterday.

like finally can see her for awhile (:

teehee.

thanks gurl.

went pool with my bro,ck, shirley and cp.

as usual, location, hougang plaza.

the place was fully occupied.

we waited like 30mins to reach our turn,

while waiting,

we played Foosball.

shirley was like screaming here and there.

haha. so cute lar she.

than walked to Mcd with my bro and shirley,

talked and talked.

LOLs.

i got a little emo later on.

guess i was thinking way too deep about my r/s.

and was i really with what im going thru now.

my life is just like a plain paper,

no words, no colour.

just blank.

i dunno.

what do i really want, what do i really expect.

i just feel like crying,

burst it out as loud as i can.

but i just couldnt.

and all i could do was to smoke.

smoke and smoke till i got so numb with it.

kept quiet all the way,

and went home with bro.

cp wanted to send me home 1st,

but i refused.

reached home,

i didnt wanna go home so i just sat at the place where i owez slack.

my under block little corner.

sms-ed ck to check with him if cp is already in the bus with him as ii got a little feelin that he wont go home yet.

ck replied,

"no.. he dont want to follow us, he say he wanna take mrt and go buy something"

theres when i know that he must be wandering around or heading towards my house.

called him,

indeed.

his already in the lrt but he lied that he was only at compasspoint.

i stalked on him,

LOL.

like playing hide and seek. =x

so funn =x

so i regain a little of my mood,

bought ice longan and him, cendol.

walked back to my block and asked my little bro to come down.

bro stupidly brought a big bowl of pork and a very big packet of chicken with 3 forks down.

like house use fork and bowl?!!!

LOL.

funny la weii.

than we was like talking and talking away.

went home at 9.30pm.

tried calling chris as i miss his call but no answer.

guess he fell asleep le bahs. =/

sorry to keep uu waiting.. again..

i wish i could rewind back time to 13FEB.

re collect ang pows.

re enjoy my holiday.

2010-02-11T19:14:00.002+08:00

ah hah !

updating blog in class.

LOL.

lecturer still not here yet (: .

life nowadays is super d duper bzzz..

bzz with work.

superb lots of new task and date line to meet.

really tired.

than class on tues and thurs.

reached home nearly 12am edi.

next day still got to get up at 5.45am.

._.

i wonder how long can i actually take it.

was suppose to attend new year dinner with the mortgage team yst.

but due to the work loads,

i just couldn't leave the office until 8+pm?

jason and ryan did something that really touched my heart.

they actually order Mcd to the office for me. (:

HAHA !

yea.. small lil things that touches my heart.

jason even sms-ed me saying,

"even if uu are not around here with us, just wanna let uu know that uu belong in the family"

tmd sweet rite.

read liao also wanna cry sia. =x

anyway,

CNY real soon.

and im on leave tomorrow!!

woohoo !

means no work, no assignment, no school till wed !! ^^

im lovin' it ! x3

2010-02-09T07:58:00.002+08:00

today will be the 1st officially day that my class starts.

i already get to know 1 friend who is 24 this year.

seems like a quiet gurl.

and she l.u.r.v.e writing. =/

leaving work at around 5.45pm as my class will start at 7.15pm and ends at 10.15pm.

._.

still thinking how to get home tonite.

wanna request from mummie to ask daddie to send me to work tomorrow morning.

at least ii can sleep a little bit longer.

hopefully daddie allow =/

before i 4get,

here is something very interesting,

when i came in the office yesterday,

my whole table was full or glue.

like super glue.

all around my table,mouse,my pillow,keyboard and chair.

quite a number of ppl's came back on sat to work,

and i somehow know hu did that.

is like only my manager and ii tio?

the rest all clean and sparkling?

_l_ !

pubor lar.

wanna play, come play face2face.

mai act like a childish kid,

doing such act and scare to get caught as well?

sharon told sebas already.

lets see how.

my wise tooth still hurt.

thinking whereter to visit the dentist and pluck in out.

i got no appetite to eat.

cant really bite or chew.

like an old granny. ._.

siann sia..

2010-02-04T12:46:00.004+08:00

i felt i dont belong here anymore.

is so different from last time or how it use to be.

which i dont even know why.

probably i belong elsewhere.

like what Eugene said,

"just focus in ur work, dont care about others"

which i think i should really bear that in mind.

my duty is to complete my job well,

and do my very best in my studies too.

so,

all the best ting ting :)

2010-02-03T08:09:00.003+08:00

just finished filling up the course application.

my company chooses diploma in IT for me.

what to do,

company sponsorship, so i cant really get to choose.

at least im gaining more knowledge (:

i chosen Informatics which is located far at jurong.

hmmph =/

pretty hectic but i dont see any other college that have better module than this.

another climax in life.

i wonder how am i going to be focus at work and studies at the same time.

will i be able to excel in both work and academic?

idk but ii will make sure that ii do my very best.

such chances are hard to come, im so not gonna miss any of it.

the earliest that ii will starting this course is mid of FEB.

which orientation will be this friday.

i wonder how will my lecturer be like.

hhmm.. =/

afraid that i will fall very deep now.

but trying very hard not to let such things happen.

2010-02-02T13:21:00.005+08:00

just felt that,

doesnt mean ppl hu owez smile at euu,

go shopping with euu,

tell uu all kind of gossips,

share everything under the sun,

or even helped uu most of the time is somebody trustworthy.

or do euu think he/she is consider as ur best friend?

a friend that euu can rely on?

lets now compare with friends hu,

spent years in school with uu,

use to be ur best friend,

backstabed uu after that,

no longer friends for a few years,

hope the other party are dead,

& after the misunderstanding are cleared,

we talked,

laugh,

and hangout together,

just that not as close as how it used to be.

so which friends are trustworthy?

which friends are truly called "SISTA?"

i found my answer.

i found a few ppl around me that are called sisters.

what about euu?
ask urself,
are THEY the one that care and understand YOU?

2010-02-02T07:09:00.003+08:00

30Jan2010

life lately was pretty exciting.

full of activities on weekend.

played pool.

slack.

eat.

went out with ck, xuan, alvin, bii on sat.

went bugis.

ck and xuan is shopping for CNY clothes.

damn.

is like superb pack at bugis street.

=/ ..

see liao also sian.

._.

my bro keep !@#$%^ .

LOL.

than the 2 of us walked our own way 1st.

coz really too pack le.

than he pei me go smoke 1st.

& we went up after that.

and there's air con. ^^

so we just look down the glass mirror and see if we can spot any of them.

oh oh.

i saw sabrina.

haha!

but she didnt see me. =/

than bii called and we meet downstair luh.

went to bugis, xuan and ck wanna use the loo.

otw to mrt, i met annabelle.

than she told me she left price very long liao ._.

& i din even know about it. ._.

reached hougang,

xuan & ck had their dinner.

than the 3 of us just drink and chat around.

& thats the only point where ck and xuan know alvin is my rl bro. ._.

we dont look alike mer? ._.

headed to pool after that.

i din really play.

idk why.

i dont dare to play in front of ppl who im not close with.

neither do i dare to learn. ._.

did play 1 round with xuan.

tio trash liao .... .... .....

is like beginner playing with a pro ._.

but is okie luh.

better than him playing alone.

like so boh liao ._.

after that,

my bro, cp and ii went kovan for dinner.

midnight curry rice prawn is nnniiceee !!

than went home le luh.

tiring but funn day (:

2010-01-29T07:54:00.002+08:00

had been really bz at work lately.

stress.

like really stress.

i notice that blangah or Pakistan.

i dont know which hell world are they from.

but they seems to like me alot. ._.

bastard.

why am ii luring this kind of PEST in my life.

it happened twice.

once, this blangah or idk where the hell he is from just approach me in public,

offering to buy me Mcd and asked for my hp no.

like grrrr. =/

i must learn,

LEARN how to reject guys.

._.

and yst,

when john teo send me home,

theres another 2 blangah who walked pass his car.

i was bz playing with my fone,

didnt notice whats going on.

and john teo said "i think uu really attract blangah, that 2 blangahs just now keep staring at uu and smile"

zzzzzzz.

bloody hell !

and john teo keep laughing at me.

GRRRR !!

so many,

many despo guys in this world.

HATE IT !

2010-01-22T07:08:00.002+08:00

finally, is FRIDAY ! (:

the day that ii will be meeting my friends,

my sisters in jb.

HAHA !

whole lots of activities had already been planned.

i cant wait (:

gonna have a hair cut too.

hopefully it will turn out fine. =/

nway peeps,

dont miss me too much okies ! ^^

oh yah,

baby, please take good care of urself when im not around.

dont play play play until uu 4get to do ur daily suppose to do stuff alrite.

go out with xuan and ck if uu are ask to okie?

uu are feeling sick, again.

please drink more water and take ur medicine.

dont be stubborn like me, or uu will see the outcome of it >=D .

dont be an asshole, rmb to sms me! =/

take care.

wo hui xiang ni de. x33

2010-01-18T08:10:00.002+08:00

another weekend had past,

nth much happened.

met my dearest cousin,

pei man on friday after work.

headed to singpost and slack at the sushi restoran for around 2hours.

haha.. gurls talk (:

never ending talks.

while going up the escalator,

i met judy sim !

LOL.

like woah,

can recognise her straight away.

she approached me like,

"ting ting,rite?"

LOL.

and we talked about her sales about how uu can grow in manulife.

wanted to have a cup of coffee,

but running out of time.

went to the MRT station.

Pei man need to meet her dad in woodland, CWP.

was supposed to pei her go all the way to woodland and meet cp at the same time as he wanted to come and find me.

but after looking at the map direction.

my GOD.

so long journey.

straight away sian tiao and didnt wanna go.

so ii headed home.

had a little my own funn on sat morning.

lovely <3

took a nap from 2-6.30pm after taking my cough syrup which makes me drowsy. =/

woke up,

took my bath and headed to rivervale mall with mummie 4 dinner.

i had fillet o fish meal :x

curly fries rox <3

went home,

played audi with baby till 11+pm.

and than talked to him till he fell asleep after that.

tried closing my eyes but couldn't fall asleep.

guess it was because i slept way too long in the afternoon =/

woke up and continue playing audi till 3+am. :x

im crazzzii over beat up.

idk why.

its like so FUN can!

woke up at around 11+am the next following day.

had fried carrot cake for breakfast.

and a little argument with cp =/ .

played audi beat up for the whole entire day till evening where my bro got a little emo.

when and pushed a gurl and almost punch her.

riittee ._.

the gurl called her boyfriend hu is 25 years old?!!

16 date with a 25 years old guy?!

my god?

for sex? :x

9 years different le ._.

okay.

so the gurl got frighten,

yes! my bro is fierce and violence at time but his like afraid too ._.

i called up that gurl name Cindy.

talked to her, and conference with her 25 years old stead.

i know it was my brother fault,

so i asked them how they wanna settle this thing.

easy, just have to sms the gurl to apologise.

cp called my brother to pei him chat while waiting for me to help him settle and take my bath b4 ii go and find him.

as my brother was sitting at some stairways.

yeap. my bro is like crying to cp.

LOL.

gheys :x

thanx alot bii for talking to my bro and kept him company throughout this mess. (:

ritee,

so this weekend is the time im gonna go back to jaybee and have funn with my buddies !

sun bian cut and dye my hair ! (:

gonna put my bro at cp house for a night before i come back.

quite worried leaving him alone at home.

and the boys are going to have their own activities i guess (:

oh well !

that's all for now.

w0rk work work.

2010-01-11T08:06:00.003+08:00

read the news thru my iPhone today.

notice there are alot of things happening around the world.

strong blizzard in china causes lots of damaged.

weather is something that is beyond human control.

so sympathise is all i can do.

and what shocked me the most is Malaysia,

my country.

place where i grew up.

2 news about it that really make me wanna give up my citizenship there.

or in another word, just dump it.

whats the point of holding on to it when i can see myself at risk too?

~1st~

a 33 years old mother set herself on fire by poured petrol on her body b4 lighting up a candle on herself.

reason being, her 15years old daughter is seldom to be home.

and 54% of burns on her forehead to the abdomen.

like WTF?

cant handle your daughter,

let the government or counsellor handle.

why act like a superwoman,

trying to create a little drama around the WORLD?

OI PUBOR ! think twice b4 uu do such things lar!

1 word to describe,

stupid.

~2nd~

im sure is a big news around the world,

especially for the christian races.

Malay's in Kuala Lumpur and many parts of other M'sia like, Malacca/Sarawak had been attacking churches.

setting them on fire,

hurting those innocent people who believe in GOD.

ppl are afraid to go for their Sunday service.

just because,

ahgong allowed the christian ppl to use the word "allah" to worship GOD?

like c'mon?

why make a big fuse about it?

isnt it the same?

is just like how uu just the word,

"i wanna poo poo!"

and

"i wanna shit!"

same meaning rite?!!

and do you think the christian ppl would want to change it?

i seriously think they need a life.

they need to THINK.

like really,

insane.

whats wrong with the world ma ma.

2010-01-09T13:45:00.003+08:00

ALRITE ! NC16 POST !

i think i really need to clear my msn.

260 contacts.

and ii dont know some of them.

pure jerks, yes.. alot of pure jerk.

they are just abusing their webcam.

for websex.

what the hell.

bunch of loser who hides behind their pc,

showing ppl their dick and nothing else.

rite,

the pic will explain everything.

fucker enough?!

kn'n pubor ! GO FUCK YOUR MOTHER ! ._.

2010-01-07T08:05:00.004+08:00

OHMIGOD OHMIGOD !!!

backstreet boys are coming to sg!!

concern on the 28Feb2010.

ii waaannnnaaaaaa gooooo...

ticket price from $68,$98 and $148.

annnyyyy spooonnsooor!!!??? T.T

any kaki wanna go together please contact me.

LETS PLANN to meet my boyfriends! :D :D :D

for more details,

please click :

http://www.sistic.com.sg/portal/dt?dt.isPortletRequest=true&dt.action=process&dt.provider=PortletWindowProcessChannel&dt.windowProvider.targetPortletChannel=JSPTabContainer/sEventsCalendar/Event&dt.containerName=JSPTabContainer/sEventsCalendar&dt.windowProvider.currentChannelMode=VIEW&dt.window.portletAction=RENDER&contentCode=bsb0210#seatAnchor

2010-01-05T08:11:00.003+08:00

idk what to blog about.

life seems pretty boring. =/

nway, had my P3 yesterday in the office.

im sure most of uu dont know what does P3 means,

so yea,

it meant Performance something. =X

is like to grade your performance at work, how uu manage everything and so on lar.

did had a great talk with sharon(my manager).

was laughing, planning and discussing about switching role.

and and, she did told me her plans.

is like really niceee that she will share with me all these little plans larhs.

and 1 more news that im hoping and praying !!

like really hoping and prayying hard!!

is still not confirm yet,

BUT,

sharon had already put up the request for me.

this time is not about pay rise[who cares about pay rise already].

is about something even more B.E.T.T.E.R!!

if that really happen,

i promise to work harder.

i promise to divide my working and ***** time equally.

i promise not to disappoint ppl who have high hope on me.

i promise that i will be good and will still be punctual.

ohh.. ii promise anything that you guys want me to promise. =/

just let it HAPPEN pretty pleassssseeee.. =/

i want to move further,

i want to climb higher.

pleaseee pleaseee give me a chance,

to prove no disappointment.

2009-12-31T07:55:00.003+08:00

last day of 2009.

so much had happened in my 21st year.

i learnt to love and to be loved.

i learnt to hate and ofcoz, to be hated.

thanx to those who had been showering me with loved,

and not 4getting those who hated me.

i dont blame anyone of you for your hated.

in fact, i wanna say a big THANK YOU (:

because, that made me see YOUR true colour.

and build me up as a stronger person,

as well as a better person to choose my friend,

or even judge someone.

teasing and swearing just make YOU a pure loser.

is that what you guys are good at?

nthbettertodo uh?

maybe YOU should come straight to my face and tell me all those that YOU had been talking behind my back?

dont be such a sore loser (: .

oh yah!

i learnt to give a "like ii care" attitude.

like why should i waste my time and effort on something that is just purely craps?

too petty?

idk..

nway,

is NEW YEAR EVE ! (:

enjoy everyone!

care those who really care for me.

fuck those who dont deserve anything (:

2009-12-30T08:01:00.002+08:00

what does he wants from her?

and what does she want from him?

had pretty random thoughts about stuff around me.

my future, when am i going to learn to save?

should ii go back to school?

whats my r/s gonna be like?

will i be able to build up a secure and stable family with the one i love most?

work?

is there anymore things that i could learn?

have a been screwing up my friendship?

totally insane to have all this Q running thru my brain,

and yet,

i dont have an answer to them.

no clue, no link.

im like living a life, without any aim.

just moving on day by day.

till when? till what?

i really dont know.

life had been really exciting lately.

with all the activities line up.

from xmas eve, till now.

where had i been?

xmas eve[241209]: went to plaza sing to watch alvin and the chipmunk 2 with bii. the show is 100% boring. rating 1/5. D: .. waste my time watching.

xmas[251209]: met ck, bii, and xuan together with my cousin to snow city. the place where xuan is currently working. had steamboat, played pool, sing. pretty awesome place. like it there. (:

[261209]:stayed at home till nite, bii came to look me up for dinner. went opposite my house to dapao, printed sticker name for myself (: ..

[271209]: maple whole day long. and is really getting bored there. idk if ii still wanna continue playing or not. was thinking to quit. =/ ..bii came to look for me for dinner too. ate a sucky duck rice. =/ ..

[281209]:company event.*been force to go*. Lynn, my HR manager took my iPhone and asked me to follow her before i could get it back =/ .. meanie!! went Lunar @ Clarke quay. and that place is just for drinking+singing. drank Chivas and a glass of beer. sang jie kou, and at the beginning with Sabrina.

[291209]:left office at 6.30pm. went for the mortgage department year end dinner. jason came over to picked me up. venue is at : IKOI Jap Restaurant @ Hotel Miramar. had sushi, alot of tempura and i felt so bloated. ._.

[301209]: should be a normal day at work and home right after work.

[311209]: will be heading to wei yan house with bii to celebrate new year countdown with his family and relatives. dunno how will it be like =/

rightttt.. things that i had been doing for this past 1week.

so TELL ME!

how am i not gonna get tired? =/

ahhh...

LIFE (:

2009-12-24T11:10:00.003+08:00

i see laughter.

i see joy.

and i see my own wide smile (:

lots of cheers and lots of present, wrapped with really colourful and beautiful wrapping paper.

and xmas log cakes everywhere.

chocolates as a real great snacks.

i see ppl walking around.

totally not in a mood to work.

LOLs.

leaving at 3pm today.

what more could uu expect (: .

and i got my 11th xmas gift.

ahhh.. im blessed to be working in this company.

(: .

well well well,

wishing all a really great,

MERRY X'MAS (:

enjoy your night.

2009-12-23T07:51:00.003+08:00

i wonder, why are some ppl's are just sooo insensitive and so not understanding.

just bcoz of 1small "not going to the club", i was having a bad menstruation cramps,

and i got ignore, not picking up my phone, said bad thing behind my back or tried to tease me.

i fucking told uu i was having bad menstruation as early as 8-9am!!

and cant you be more understanding?

YOU are not a BLOODY damn girl.

YOU wont know how i feel or how a gurl feel.

how do you expect me to go to a club when im in pain till ii can bearly walk?!

PLEASE !

look at urself b4 uu even wanna judge some1 like how uu did.

who are you?!

i dont care if you are straight, gays, lesbian or even bisexual.

dont be such a mother fucker,barking like a DOG when i did not step onto your fucking tail!

dont tell me uu didnt back out any plan before?

ASK yourself.

who was the one who plan to go to a club with Anna than was also the 1 who didnt turn up without even informing??!

without even informing?!!

can you believe it??!

who was the 1 being more irresponsible here?

and now i fucking lost trust in you.

dont expect me to do or say anything anymore.

dont wanna pick up my fone!

dont wanna talk?

FINE !

GO AHEAD !

I DONT CARE !!!

MY BLOG,

MY RANT... _l_

2009-12-14T08:12:00.003+08:00

didnt manage to sleep until 1am last nite.

it happened all the time..

my brain just cant stop functioning..

it just kept working and working tho my entire body is tired and weak.

i really hate this kind of feeling to the core.. =/

dii had been in msia since sat.

managed to wake up at 5am to bid goodbye.

nway, his coming back tomorrow (:

he did texted and called me when his over there.

told me that he went jungle tracking and saw fireflies.

nice rite?

i havent been seeing fireflies for the longest time.

the last time was like, hhhm.. 4-5years back?

it was lovely..

like alot of light bulb around the trees.

just like a sparkling xmas tree (:

talking about xmas,

is around the corner !! :D

my favourite occasion!

this year is gonna be different,i guess.

received my 1st present from my colleague already.

ii purse (:

well,

BFF ray is having his examination for this week.

*good luck alrite (: *

dont overstress urself..

off to work with my panda eyes..

i miss my bed and air con at home. =/

2009-12-04T08:00:00.000+08:00

MEL IS A SICK CAT !!

hear her say MEEEEOOOOWWW !! =x

2009-12-03T07:50:00.004+08:00

you told me uu missed the last time me.

the time when im still young, still by ur side,still relay on uu alot.

and now i changed.

i know.

everybody knows.

each time uu asked me, if i still love uu,

i answered, i dont know.

i dont want any commitment now.

notfornow.

not at this instant.

i wanna build up my life before i decide on settling down a relationship.

each night, uu are just there,

sitting in ur living room, waiting for my call.

i know it hurt, but i will never be able to feel the hurt that uu are going thru alone.

i admit,

i do think of the past.

where we used to eat, do badd things, shopping together.

and those joy that uu never fail to bring just to see a smile on my face.

brought me to the funfair.

pei me play my favourite octopus ride.

even if you hate the dizziness effect after that.

getting caught by ur relatives seeing uu driving in Malacca,

instead, uu should be at KL at that time.

brought me to eat my favourite cakes.

me, eating mine. you, feeding me ur cakes.

in the end, i will ended up eating your share too.

tho we do have argument once in awhile.

but uu never fail to amend those holes.

to make sure everything are fine before we sleep.

and to admit it was ur fault even do i know, sometimes, it was mine.

all this memories made me smile.

but memories..

it's just purely memories.

whats the future like?

idk..

can we build up a family together?

clueless.

so why have commitment for each other when we cant even build our own life now?

im sorry if im being mean here.

i just don't know how to reply to ur sms.

and i know you do read my blog everyday.

i short msg for uu here,

"keep walking, don't stop.. don't look back if sadness is all it brings to uu.. get a gurl hu deserve ur love, who can make uu smile, who is 100x's better than me.. if we are really meant to be together, we will.. someday.."

i had never been perfect,

but neither have you.

2009-12-02T07:54:00.002+08:00

it was a nightmare yesterday.

i forced myself to sleep at 8pm.

*close ur eyes gurl.. close it*

but it just so hard.

did talked to Nigel for awhile.

than tried sleeping again.

my mood wasn't good tho.

over some certain matter.

the feeling of "keep waiting" sucks.

brain just kept waiting and waiting.

every min, every second..

i owez felt the phone vibrating.

but nope.. there wasn't any call nor sms.

is like im ignoring all things that was around me.

all called or sms..

and i will only reacted to that particular person contact.

weird isn't it? (:

anyway, things got better after that.

i manage to talked to him,

with an unhealthy decision made.

and yea, off to bedd peacefully (:

i misses uu..

every single sec, minute & hour.

2009-12-01T15:23:00.002+08:00

bbbbbiii....

uu see..

im a pig ! but a cute pink small lil pig with lil curly tail.

YOU ARE ALSO A PIG !

BUT ..

with a black skin !!! and a LONG STRAIGHT TAIL !!!

bwahahahaha =X

2009-12-01T07:59:00.004+08:00

things happened for a reason.

but whats the real reason?

or was it just plain excuses again.

idk..

life had been going so so lately.

nth interesting.

nth surprising nor happy.

but i do see changes around me.

ppl change for the sake of their life,

environment and probably, they don't even know?

nway,

will be pretty bz this week.

commission month..

again...

exhausted.

and oh yah,

Harloo DEC09 (:

off to work againnnnnn....

is your life.

YOU control it.

2009-11-25T08:11:00.004+08:00

got an sms from sabrina this morning.

saying that her grandfather is in the hospital,

asthma attack.

suddenly i thought of,

"when is it gonna be my turn?"

when will i get my asthma attack,

laying in the hospital bed,

feeling breathless.

letting the doctor & nurse to save me.

but then again,

do i wanna be save?

sometimes,

is just so tiring living in this world.

seeing how many ppl's i actually had hurt.

maybe is just best for me to leave as well,

at least, i will hurt them for the last time,

and then my name will be gone from their life.

im me, just me.

2009-11-24T08:10:00.000+08:00

FUCK MYSELF UP _l_

indeed.. i screwed myself up.

2009-11-22T11:45:00.008+08:00

SATURDAY[2111o9]

woke up pretty early but got headache after that. =/

kns de.

superb unwell.

went maple,

do some quest and really buey tahan.

took my nap at 1pm.

woke up at 3.30pm after that.

sit in front of the pc while bii and dii get ready to meet up later on.

i got ready at around 4pm, took my bath, blow my hair.

met them at my block again, at 5pm.

took the mrt to habourfront.

went straight to see the timing for movie's.

but sian,

long Q.

and all the movie was filling fast.

was thinking whereter to watch or not.

in the end, we took the Q.

and we bought ticket for "The Xmas Carol 3D".

9.10pm ticket =/

at 1st,

dii and cp was kinda reluctant to watch this movie when i told them that i was like so so wanting to watch.

LOLs.

but overall, the 3D spec made the movie really interesting. (:

is like real snow are around the cinema.

ke ke.

soo funn.. ^^

went for dinner at the food court after buying the ticket.

i had my usual, meehoon + those fried stuff e.g : prawn crackers, fishball, etc etc.

cp wanted popiah also.

so we ordered two rolls of it.

as usual,

dii wanted something to do with chicken.

got him his chicken rice.

and cp got his seafood steamboat.

okies !! again !!

eat dao yao vomit.

is like really forcing everything in!

._. !

hu's fault?!

cp lar..

order so much =x

after that, we went to see my lighting !!! (:

the xmas tress was really really lovely!

see the 2 boy's infront ~~ spoilt my photo =x ..

a closer shot (: .. lovely?

went Mu-Ee after that.

got myself a cigi box. =/

can see dii wasnt very happy.

either can cp stop me.

and im sure BFF is gonna be so dissapointed after knowing this.

sorry guys.

the front cover of the cigi box (:

inside the box ! mild seven ori rox ! =x

2009-11-22T10:55:00.008+08:00

FRIDAY [2011o9]

took leave on this particular day.

no why.

reason being was only because, i need a break.

& i got too many leave to clear. ^^

cp came to have breakfast with my bro & ii at kovan.

met him like around 10am.

ate kueh chap.

than ate a lil dim sum also.

LOLs.

full until i wanna burst.

drank sugar cane ^^ ..

superb craving for that for the last few days.

went popular after that,

bro wanna get some colour paper. =/

got home at around 12+pm.

cp tried to fix my maple.

stupid cock up patch.

than after that, around 3pm.

my maple finally working edi ! (:

thanx alot bii (: ..

met dii at my house for lunch+dinner.

they waited for me at my house block while i go and take my bath again.

then , headed to kovan again. ._.

had new york new york coz cp havent eat there b4 (:

we had some meat platter and ice cream.

hell sia..

eat until all of us dont know how to talk liao.

and the waitress even offer us cotton candy x3

dii melting cotton candy. *his happily talking to aiai over the phone* =x

the giant banana boat. i think they should name it the banana titanic instead of boat. ._.

went home superb bloated after that.

oh yah!

we bought cash together.

aiai, cp, dii and me.

had been waiting for aiai to discharge from the hospital that day, for finally TODAY (:

taadaaa !! our new cash outfit (:

lets make out the possibility out of the impossibility (:

2009-11-18T07:03:00.004+08:00

people are just weird, aren't they?

they change each time.

to suit the environment.
to suit themself.

to be happy.

to get what they want.

i changed.

i know.

compared to the teenage life of me.

im working now.

i need to suit the environment.

and i know im more realistic now.

but isnt this what human being are born for?

the last survival wins the race?

the bet?

i hurted uu again and again.

i dont deny.

i was selfish.

and im really sorry.

i sacrified our love so that i could at least have another chance to see a brighter future.

letting you trying to get me back.

just to at least get another chance to hold my hand, to cuddle me in your sleep.

and i ignore every existent that uu had done just for me.

im awake from whatever ~~shit~~ kind of fairy tales.

fairy tales are a totally bullshit things for what i see now.

i cant be the gurl hu are owez jumping around,

pampered uu,

or even give all my times for relationship.

yet, i cant be there for uu when uu needed me.

i wants to be there for uu,always.

but i cant.

but the chance, uu took it away.

you never wanna be just friends,

simply because uu said "i cant treat some1 i love as a normal friend".

but have uu seen where are the "push" button to another starting?

you didn't give urself another chance,

in the end,

it was you who gave up every single things.

every single hope.

uu requested not to contact anymore.

till the day i would wanna get back with uu.

i agreed to it.

i cant be so selfish.

i cant be a total bitch.

and i promise to be lost from your world.

getting my iphone tomorrow as agreed by the singtel guy.

a great time to totally change my number.

ppl's, let me know if uu wants my new number.

see how much we had change?

can uu see the different?

& now things eventually faded..

≈leaving behind the relationship, memories remains always.≈

2009-11-14T11:56:00.007+08:00

yesterday was a really F.U.N day (:

was like really having fun in the office too.

playing throwing ball with boss, yee han, jasper and jonathan.

boss said im a good thrower but a bad catcher :x

met dii at my office after work.

was raining and both of us got caught in the rain while waiting for the cab.

wanted to take a bus, but raining.. -.-

talked about his school life today.
how empty school was, how he di siao his friend.

and he show me a short video that he took in school.

glad he had fun (:

reached junction8 at round 6.15pm.

cp sms-ed me and said he will be late.

so dii and ii walked around.

dropped by converse to buy my shoe 1st (:

the sales girl got a lil pissed when i told her that i wanna match a purple shoe laces with shoes in the shop.

so she need to untie and tie on each shoe i choose.

ike hey, im not that fussy rite..

and i only picked 2 shoes.

the 2nd one was the 1 i bought.

=.=!!

seeee.. my shoe with and without purple lace ~ (:

a closer look at the pattern of my shoe .. snow flakes ~ x3

than we walked to get the movie ticket for 2012.

the entire cinema are full..

we only managed to get the 2nd row for the front. x.x

not too bad tho.

at least we are not whining.

LOLs.

cp reached after that.

at around 7pm.

had our dinner at pizza hut.

kinda lots of memory flash back when i was at pizza hut.

hhm.. how do i say it?

and guess i was dazing yesterday till cp said i was quiet.

nway, dinner was lovely.

(:'

than quickly headed to the cinema as it was like 8pm edi.

i went to the loo while dii and cp went and get popcorn+drinks.

movie started at 8.15pm and ended at 11pm.

long rite? (:

and ppl,

uu got to watch this movie.

its amazingly niceee (:

*thumbs up*

oh yah!!

x'mas is around the corner.

alot of shopping centre started their decoration.

and this is the 1 i manage to take from junction8 de.

there..the lighting ! (:

i wanna take lots of x'mas lighting this year.

so who wanna pei me walk around and take photo? x)

took a cab home after that.

uncle drove past upper serangoon road.

suddenly reminded me of what my ex-bf,

used to drove me to around there.

a deserted place.

and.. *fullstop*

you wouldn't wanna know what he did to me.

oh well,

the past.. it taught me how to judge a person.

taught me to grow stronger.

*gone by the wind*

fun fun day (:

2009-11-13T06:56:00.004+08:00

yeap.

i got my pay increment letter on tuesday.

mc on wed.

and yesterday,

$200 voucher !!

for what reason?

LOL..

for getting "the best support award".

oh yah.. oh yah..

i need to thank my mother, my father.. my great grandmother, my uncle,aunt..

phewwwww *PAUSE*

nahhh..

i just wanna thanx NURA who build me up to who i am today. (:

thanx buddy.

and i will be going junction8 after work later bahs (:

get myself a rubber shoe.

LOLs.

rubber rubber shoe!! :D

this is so gonna make rina say "can you buy GURLS flat instead of rubber shoe??!?!?!" =x

my answer "CANNOT" ! =x

okay bye =x

2009-11-10T20:23:00.003+08:00

a sudden burst of emotional, again.

things dont always go right, isnt it?

and then again,

im feeling unsecure?

why?

idk.

dont ask me.

so many bad memories flash back.

my brain couldnt take it nmore.

i wanna scream.

i wanna cry.

i wanna laugh.

what the hell is wrong with me?

did i make the correct move?

or was it a wrong one,again?

why am i feeling so unsecure?

am i being too selfish or sensitive?

who can i really share my joy and sorrow with?

is there any1 that i could relay on?

somebody, answer me.

im going crazy, like before.

2009-11-10T13:03:00.003+08:00

yesterday was a pretty confusing day.

did sms-ed with Chris.

talked alot.

idk..

i just wanna remain friends now.

some stuff are just pretty unclear.

that's for sure.

what will happen in the future,

is just beyond my control.

did not tell silly about this.

sorry.

i just didn't know how to.

Dii got confused together with me.

sorry.

ray did called me last nite and talked to me.

and woah!!

he got like superb lots of coin in his pet society!!

good rite? (:

ke ke..

no no.. i got no intention to take his coin..

no no.. =x

maybe slightly lar..

ah hem..

ke ke.. =x

nway,

like FINALLY,

i received my pay increment.

woohoo !!

been waiting for this day for the longest time !! (:

SHOPPING !!! x3

and i still got no news from the IPhone vendor !!!

OOOOIII !!! MY IPHONE!!!! D:

oh yah.. silly is out with his fellows friends.

like finally too.

have fun alrite pig.

dont make mistake ! (:

teehee..

off to work !!!

ciaozz.

2009-11-09T08:15:00.003+08:00

reached office at 8am in a drizzling monday morning.

felt kinda cold.

left my jacket at home, again.

damn.

yesterday was like a f*uking tiring day.

my mood was like swinging to the north & east.

superb unstable.

smiling and laughing,

the next minute,

uu can see me bursting out all kind of vulgarities.

daddie and mummie quarreled yesterday too.

like WTF.

this is what happen when boh maid in the family.

sure upside down.

daddie went crazy.

throwing everything in the living room.

the letters, my brothers knee guard, his punching glove.

and i was like silent all the way UNTIL he threw my towel too !

kn'n..

i was like "WTF are uu doing? throwing my towels away??! than uu might as well throw the pc away too since is placed in the living room??!"

and he replied softly, knewing that he got me pissed, "put in the living room meaning dont want."

and i replied, "dont kong kam lar.."

im already in a fucking confuse and tiring mood yesterday.

yet he came and step all over me.

PEACE fucker.

uu bad mood ur problem lar.

grrr..

nway,

talked to ray in msn.

dont think his alrite.

guess his lack of fun&joy.

or pretty boring staying at home,

doing nth.

making him think alot.

silly created an email for me to access to FB to get coins for my pet society.

indeed.

im pretty into pet society lately.

like suddenly. =/

oh well,

im very very sure that i will get bored of it, soon.

than went in to maple,

chatted with aiai, wei yan, silly,ray,elaine and holy nu er.

thats all for my sunday.

craps weekend. =/

2009-11-08T14:34:00.004+08:00

went over to lynn house last friday after work with sabrina.. (:

was looking thru her wedding photo.

can see that shes really happy & found the right guy.

oh well, what about mine?

hhm..

we played wii at her house.

bowling, cycling, fighting,cooking mama & mario cart.

played fighting with sabrina until both of us when kuku.

LOLs.

it was really funn..

and i played till bang my leg on the sofa.

ouch. -.-

no need to mention luh, blue black le luh.. -.-

lynn's husband bought mcd for us,

but sabrina ~~husband~~ bf was rushing her to go home.

idk why.

its only 10+pm. ._.

oh well, she happy jui hao le but i will never allow a guy to tie me down till this stage.

yesterday,

had a delivery man to deliver breakfast for me (:

thanx alot slave! LOLs. =x

took an afternoon nap from 1-4pm.

long horr? :x

woke up, went to ntuc with mummie.

bought some daily food for breakfast and daddie tonic drink[his beer].

went to buy top up also.

gave him $50 for a $28 top up.

in the end he gave me back $32.

LOLs.

zuan dao $10 :x

poor guy.

had bread for dinner last nite + a honey milktea.

than went papu and sg boss with cp,wei yan and aiai.

was funnnn..

only manage to sleep at 3.30am last nite.

body was really tiring but my brain just cant stop working. =/

sms-ed pei man.

miss her like hell much =/

woke up today at 10am. x.x

really really tiring..

oh yah,

im getting my iphone soon. ^^

thanx to sabrina..

love you gurl <3

aiks.

nway, is monday tomorrow.

time for work again.

and is gonna be commission month AGAIN. ._.

so diaoss.

life?

freedom?

love?

2009-11-06T13:51:00.001+08:00

this is what happen when ryan saw a kid in the office..

or probably when a kid saw ryan in the office..

LOLS..

fun at work (:

2009-11-05T12:19:00.003+08:00

aiai going for her operation today..

i mean, now.

did talked to her last nite.

she just kept crying.

tried making her laugh,

in the end,

i make her laugh till she choke. =/

she cried saying "take care & thanx 4 everything"..

i couldnt really hear what she says,

but i know shes trying to bid goodbye.

somehow,

my heart sink.

tho i just know her not long ago.

but still, shes my friend..

some1 that we had joy and laughter for the past few months.

thanx to ray for bringin her into our guild.

to also allowed wei yan to have a taste of "love".

i dont know how long the operation gonna take.

60% success.

40% failure.

so stuck in between.

hopefully everything will turn out well..

nope of us can do anything,

except wait.

"AIAI, jiayou.. we still got alot of imcomplete things that we plan to do together, right?" =]

im waiting 4 uu okay ! (:

fucking define LIFE for me.

2009-11-04T20:48:00.002+08:00

smoke smoke..

smoke all my problem away please.. x]

wish upon a star that dont shine anymore.

2009-11-02T10:02:00.007+08:00

full of emotional last few days.

maid went back to indonesia.
home sweet home for her.

at least she can be happy, and now lead a 21years old life just like me.

officially declared ~~single~~.

3years+ relationship,

i dont feel uu, neither do uu.

so whats the point of being together,correct?

i dont wanna be a selfish person,

uu should go find your happiness when i cant even make uu happy.

idk.

oh well,

life goes on.

went for my relatives wedding dinner last saturday at jb.

and at the same time,

i went and cut my hair SHORT.

short FTW (:
okay.. lets take my previous long hair to compare my current short hair pics.

see? this is the long hair me..

current me with short hair.

bro and i in the wedding dinner.

no different between long & short?

LOL :O

btw, thanx cp and wei yan for coming to pei me yesterday.

had breakfast & dinner with me.

love uu guys!

and when things started fading,

it's just so hard amending it back.

just have to walk forward,

and look for a different entrance,

all over again.

2009-10-28T07:07:00.002+08:00

company moving..

my department was suppose to shift to tampines CPF building.

but now, plaza by the park. =.=

nway,

im going MIA from facebook, maple, blog,

blahh blahhh blahhh and blahhh blaahhh blaahhhh ~

2009-10-22T16:45:00.002+08:00

my life is so bored..

nth exciting this week, not yet.

the boredom is killing me.

making me felt so different.

even cp said i change. =/

did i?

will be leaving work sharp at 6.30pm.

having my manicure appointment at 7pm.

still havent make up my mind on what colour to do.

should i do back the same colour like the previous one?

purple black?

will also be going to watson to buy some stuff for the chalet.

shampoo, body bath and small lil stuff for the convenience of everyone.

oh yah! oh yah!

my bro will be joining me x]

due to my boredom,

i feel like quitting maple, tempo.

till i feel like playing back bahs.

nth to do there.

nth interesting anymore.

*yawn* =/

off to work, AGAIN ._.

ciaos..

2009-10-21T19:44:00.004+08:00

havent been updating for the longest time.

since 13th of OCT.

getting MIA from web i guess.

focus more at my work.

a different achievement.

more job scope.

comparing to those that are jobless,

im so much fortunate.

at least there will always be a bowl of rice in front of me.

lots of chances for me to grow and climb.

plenty of support given by my colleague and management.

thank you. (:

work was so so.

life was the same.

not to mention,

relationship, complicated.

is not that im expecting too much in my life.

in fact, im a veryeasytosatisfiedkindofgurl.

gonna have chalet with cp, wei yan,bro and i dunno how else real soon.

havent prepare anything tho.

but the list are listed.

i had been having this *woohoo* kind of feeling whenever i thought about it.

but lately,

the feeling just faded.

im no longer having those exciting feeling,

and i guess i havent been really smiling.

not a real one,maybe?

too many thoughts running thru my mind.

i dont think i ever know whats right & wrong now.

im just moving on with the flow..

waiting for somebody who is helpful to guide me thru. (:

well,

is almost 8pm and im still in the office.

ignoring all calls & sms-es.

sorry to those hu did try to contact me alrite.

i just want a time of my own.

2009-10-13T07:57:00.004+08:00

rite after i tio suspected H1N1 few months back,

and got my 6days mc,

my health starting to drop.

i get sick every now and then.

that's what happening now.

sick again.

and no,

no medication for me[as usual, i don't take medicine when I'm sick],

i don't wanna drink extra plain water.

in fact,

when I'm sick,

i will be craving for deep fried stuff. x]

chips, fries, CRISPY ! xD

there there there,

I'm being stubborn rite?

oh well,

there's a phrase in mandarin that goes,

"yi tu gong tu"

dont know if i spell it correctly.

get me sick.

get me real sick.

so i could lost my voice.

so i could stay weak.

& i can stop entertaining bugs.

2009-10-12T07:15:00.003+08:00

what more can uu expect from a monday morning?

mum got me my hotcake with sausage for breakfast.

+ a cup of hot milo.

ahhh.. heaven ! ^^ ..

oh yah oh yah,

and shes sending me to work today!

double hooray ! x3

guess she knows how stress am i at work lately.

im trying to stop smoking but it seems like,

i cant.

the stress in crashing down on me.

i quited smoking b4,

tho i smoke like 2days 1pack=10 sticks a day.

its very very easy.

than when i started smoking back,

it was like,

1pack a week.

sounded more reasonable.

NOW, im starting to smoke back,

2days 1pack. =/

Ray lectured me yesterday.

telling how unhealthy it is.

saying that he will come over to my house and throw all my cigi away. =/

how im gonna hurt him & ppl around me.

which i don't want to.

i dont know how am i going to stop smoking for now.

still trying to figure out the right way.

aww..

time for me to finish up my breakfast ! (:

and when everything came crashing down.

theres no where to hide or to run.

& sometimes, i wish i could just leave.

2009-10-11T19:20:00.003+08:00

no no.

is not about looking at my black manicure.

see the different between the 2 fingers?

the colour of coz.

that's what happened when you guys smoke too much.

idk why, that finger will turn into yellow.

seems dirty?

its a stain. (:

advice : don't smoke ((:

2009-10-09T20:43:00.005+08:00

i wonder why each time when i buy cigi,

they never fail to ask for my ic.

what?

dont i look like a 21 years old gurl to them?

nvm.

thats not the main topic.

work was pretty hectic today.

was okay okay in the beginning of the day.

smooth.

than it started to get bouncy.

like a car going thru alot of humps.

nearly at the end of the working day,

my manager came over and screw me and my partner.

for something which we dont even get it.

"DONT TAKE MY WORDS FOR GRANTED".

what?

i dont even know whats going on.

and you just came screwing us after receiving a phone call?

havent even settle 1 things,

another email came.

than my boss called me.

ask me what is that email about,

and it cc the whole entire world.

i said "i dont know" which ii really dont even know why.

and he replied "you dont know??!!"

than i said "i will go and check now."

i dont understand.

what is this?

you are only listening to 1 part,

did you try asking me whats wrong before pointing your finger at me and make me felt that im a problem Creator?

what?

you guys just make me feel that i dont fit in this job.

im not capable enough to fit in?

than fire me.

thank you.

dont make me feel like a dog,

to let uu guys vent ur anger on me.

IM FUCKING NOT!

and when im trying my very best to endure,

to be patient,

to be the very best.

what am i getting?

dont try to act like you guys care,

when i dont even feel it.

and when im stress and down enough,

why do YOU have to come bugging in and pick on me?

why did YOU have to be so not understanding?

you heard me upset over the phone, didnt you?

how can you just fucking hang up my call even before you say goodbye?

"you talk to me very cold"

"you dont feel me issit?"

does all this words gonna make me feel better?

FUCK YOU.

you,being my bf,

instead of cheering me up,

you just made me felt even more upset and miserable.

why are all this happening?

i texted shirley.

guess shes the only one i can really pour my problem to.

because i think shes the only one who understand me at work.

shirley said she will try to pull me back when shes back at work after her maternity leave.

if only she could. =]

i miss you shirley.

and thanks for being there all the time for me.

thanks for making me felt really better each time im down at work.

i dont know how long i can bear with all this craps.

im starting to collapse.

drowning.

when im starting to felt like a group,

you guys just made me redraw myself from it again.

thanks alot.

2009-10-08T08:13:00.003+08:00

1st thing in the morning when i reached my office,

i saw those 2 submission from bloody chicken.

HELLO.. *pointing middle finger _l_*

im not you FUCKING P.A.

don't give me some fucking attitude tho uu are directly from whatever fuck bank.

just because uu are earning 24k a month, aside from your basic pay,

YOU THINK I CARE?

YOU THINK I GIVE A DAMN?

dont k'n'n c'c'b fuck with me.

*coolinnnggg doowwwnn..*

than i was like fuck up heck care yesterday that i started playing around in the office.

i just got so fed up about being serious at work,sometimes.

it just pressurise me even more.

was laughing till i almost 4got to do something :x ..

had a slight conversation with cp yesterday.

him: ehh.. dye back ur hair black ler..

me: why ler? okay luh.. i dye black than bleach 1 side white okay.

him: why must bleach ler?

me:coz i love playing with my hair and i look too guai with totally black.

him:*speechless look*

i love my hair having purple highlight. :P

tho the colour faded now.

need to give my hair a break.

too much chemical, im going botak soon. :O

btw,

to all people who are sitting their exam now,

especially wei yan dii and bennie erzi,

GOOD LUCK ALRITE ! ((:

p/s: dii, uu are suppose to show me your report book.

make sure is an acceptable result :x