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There is no guarantee♥
That this life is easy

The Mistress♥

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Ting Ting is my name.
I'm a purple + black lover.
I might look strong on the outside,
but definitely weak, inside.


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Her Mood♥


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Music Playlist at MixPod.com
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Credits

Don't even touch this

Basecodes from:
♥chocodiiction-lovesxoxo*
Designer: MissVunique
Background by:
Fivepointsapart
Inspired by:
The song When i look at you by Miley Cyrus
Others:
1 2 3



last day of 2009.
so much had happened in my 21st year.
i learnt to love and to be loved.
i learnt to hate and ofcoz, to be hated.
thanx to those who had been showering me with loved,
and not 4getting those who hated me.
i dont blame anyone of you for your hated.
in fact, i wanna say a big THANK YOU (:
because, that made me see YOUR true colour.
and build me up as a stronger person,
as well as a better person to choose my friend,
or even judge someone.
(:

teasing and swearing just make YOU a pure loser.
is that what you guys are good at?
nthbettertodo uh?
maybe YOU should come straight to my face and tell me all those that YOU had been talking behind my back?
dont be such a sore loser (: .

oh yah!
i learnt to give a "like ii care" attitude.
like why should i waste my time and effort on something that is just purely craps?
too petty?
idk..

nway,
is NEW YEAR EVE ! (:
enjoy everyone!



care those who really care for me.
fuck those who dont deserve anything (:

i love you so deeply much, but do you? 7:55 AM



what does he wants from her?
and what does she want from him?

had pretty random thoughts about stuff around me.
my future, when am i going to learn to save?
should ii go back to school?
whats my r/s gonna be like?
will i be able to build up a secure and stable family with the one i love most?
work?
is there anymore things that i could learn?
have a been screwing up my friendship?

totally insane to have all this Q running thru my brain,
and yet,
i dont have an answer to them.
no clue, no link.
im like living a life, without any aim.
just moving on day by day.
till when? till what?
i really dont know.

life had been really exciting lately.
with all the activities line up.
from xmas eve, till now.

where had i been?
xmas eve[241209]: went to plaza sing to watch alvin and the chipmunk 2 with bii. the show is 100% boring. rating 1/5. D: .. waste my time watching.
xmas[251209]: met ck, bii, and xuan together with my cousin to snow city. the place where xuan is currently working. had steamboat, played pool, sing. pretty awesome place. like it there. (:
[261209]:stayed at home till nite, bii came to look me up for dinner. went opposite my house to dapao, printed sticker name for myself (: ..
[271209]: maple whole day long. and is really getting bored there. idk if ii still wanna continue playing or not. was thinking to quit. =/ ..bii came to look for me for dinner too. ate a sucky duck rice. =/ ..

[281209]:company event.*been force to go*. Lynn, my HR manager took my iPhone and asked me to follow her before i could get it back =/ .. meanie!! went Lunar @ Clarke quay. and that place is just for drinking+singing. drank Chivas and a glass of beer. sang jie kou, and at the beginning with Sabrina.
[291209]:left office at 6.30pm. went for the mortgage department year end dinner. jason came over to picked me up. venue is at : IKOI Jap Restaurant @ Hotel Miramar. had sushi, alot of tempura and i felt so bloated. ._.

[301209]: should be a normal day at work and home right after work.
[311209]: will be heading to wei yan house with bii to celebrate new year countdown with his family and relatives. dunno how will it be like =/

rightttt.. things that i had been doing for this past 1week.
so TELL ME!
how am i not gonna get tired? =/
ahhh...
LIFE (:

i love you so deeply much, but do you? 8:01 AM



i see laughter.
i see joy.
and i see my own wide smile (:
lots of cheers and lots of present, wrapped with really colourful and beautiful wrapping paper.
and xmas log cakes everywhere.
chocolates as a real great snacks.

i see ppl walking around.
totally not in a mood to work.
LOLs.
leaving at 3pm today.
what more could uu expect (: .

and i got my 11th xmas gift.
ahhh.. im blessed to be working in this company.
(: .
well well well,
wishing all a really great,
MERRY X'MAS (:
enjoy your night.

i love you so deeply much, but do you? 11:10 AM



i wonder, why are some ppl's are just sooo insensitive and so not understanding.
just bcoz of 1small "not going to the club", i was having a bad menstruation cramps,
and i got ignore, not picking up my phone, said bad thing behind my back or tried to tease me.

i fucking told uu i was having bad menstruation as early as 8-9am!!
and cant you be more understanding?
YOU are not a BLOODY damn girl.
YOU wont know how i feel or how a gurl feel.
how do you expect me to go to a club when im in pain till ii can bearly walk?!

PLEASE !
look at urself b4 uu even wanna judge some1 like how uu did.
who are you?!
i dont care if you are straight, gays, lesbian or even bisexual.
dont be such a mother fucker,barking like a DOG when i did not step onto your fucking tail!

dont tell me uu didnt back out any plan before?
ASK yourself.
who was the one who plan to go to a club with Anna than was also the 1 who didnt turn up without even informing??!
without even informing?!!
can you believe it??!
who was the 1 being more irresponsible here?

and now i fucking lost trust in you.
dont expect me to do or say anything anymore.
dont wanna pick up my fone!
dont wanna talk?
FINE !
GO AHEAD !
I DONT CARE !!!



MY BLOG,
MY RANT... _l_

i love you so deeply much, but do you? 7:51 AM



didnt manage to sleep until 1am last nite.
it happened all the time..
my brain just cant stop functioning..
it just kept working and working tho my entire body is tired and weak.
i really hate this kind of feeling to the core.. =/

dii had been in msia since sat.
managed to wake up at 5am to bid goodbye.
nway, his coming back tomorrow (:

he did texted and called me when his over there.
told me that he went jungle tracking and saw fireflies.
nice rite?
i havent been seeing fireflies for the longest time.
the last time was like, hhhm.. 4-5years back?
it was lovely..
like alot of light bulb around the trees.
just like a sparkling xmas tree (:

talking about xmas,
is around the corner !! :D
my favourite occasion!
this year is gonna be different,i guess.
received my 1st present from my colleague already.
ii purse (:

well,
BFF ray is having his examination for this week.
*good luck alrite (: *
dont overstress urself..



off to work with my panda eyes..
i miss my bed and air con at home. =/

i love you so deeply much, but do you? 8:12 AM



MEL IS A SICK CAT !!
hear her say MEEEEOOOOWWW !! =x

i love you so deeply much, but do you? 8:00 AM



you told me uu missed the last time me.
the time when im still young, still by ur side,still relay on uu alot.
and now i changed.
i know.
everybody knows.

each time uu asked me, if i still love uu,
i answered, i dont know.
i dont want any commitment now.
notfornow.
not at this instant.

i wanna build up my life before i decide on settling down a relationship.
each night, uu are just there,
sitting in ur living room, waiting for my call.
i know it hurt, but i will never be able to feel the hurt that uu are going thru alone.
i admit,
i do think of the past.
where we used to eat, do badd things, shopping together.
and those joy that uu never fail to bring just to see a smile on my face.
brought me to the funfair.
pei me play my favourite octopus ride.
even if you hate the dizziness effect after that.
getting caught by ur relatives seeing uu driving in Malacca,
instead, uu should be at KL at that time.

brought me to eat my favourite cakes.
me, eating mine. you, feeding me ur cakes.
in the end, i will ended up eating your share too.

tho we do have argument once in awhile.
but uu never fail to amend those holes.
to make sure everything are fine before we sleep.
and to admit it was ur fault even do i know, sometimes, it was mine.

all this memories made me smile.
but memories..
it's just purely memories.
whats the future like?
idk..
can we build up a family together?
clueless.
so why have commitment for each other when we cant even build our own life now?

im sorry if im being mean here.
i just don't know how to reply to ur sms.
and i know you do read my blog everyday.

i short msg for uu here,
"keep walking, don't stop.. don't look back if sadness is all it brings to uu.. get a gurl hu deserve ur love, who can make uu smile, who is 100x's better than me.. if we are really meant to be together, we will.. someday.."



i had never been perfect,
but neither have you.

i love you so deeply much, but do you? 7:50 AM



it was a nightmare yesterday.
i forced myself to sleep at 8pm.
*close ur eyes gurl.. close it*
but it just so hard.

did talked to Nigel for awhile.
than tried sleeping again.
my mood wasn't good tho.
over some certain matter.
=/

the feeling of "keep waiting" sucks.
brain just kept waiting and waiting.
every min, every second..
i owez felt the phone vibrating.
but nope.. there wasn't any call nor sms.
=/

is like im ignoring all things that was around me.
all called or sms..
and i will only reacted to that particular person contact.
weird isn't it? (:

anyway, things got better after that.
i manage to talked to him,
with an unhealthy decision made.
and yea, off to bedd peacefully (:



i misses uu..
every single sec, minute & hour.

i love you so deeply much, but do you? 7:54 AM



bbbbbiii....
uu see..
im a pig ! but a cute pink small lil pig with lil curly tail.
YOU ARE ALSO A PIG !
BUT ..
with a black skin !!! and a LONG STRAIGHT TAIL !!!
bwahahahaha =X

i love you so deeply much, but do you? 3:23 PM



things happened for a reason.
but whats the real reason?
or was it just plain excuses again.

idk..
life had been going so so lately.
nth interesting.
nth surprising nor happy.
but i do see changes around me.
ppl change for the sake of their life,
environment and probably, they don't even know?

nway,
will be pretty bz this week.
commission month..
again...
exhausted.
and oh yah,
Harloo DEC09 (:

off to work againnnnnn....
(:



is your life.
YOU control it.

i love you so deeply much, but do you? 7:59 AM