finally received your smsed today.
after close to a month of no news.
leaving me clueless.
had been wishing you to come back.
and yea, at least tell me whats going on.
always hoping that you are fine and going well with your life.
been asking cp and dii "why why why?"
so many why that they cant answer or maybe, dont have an actual answer to it.
leaving me alone, made my life spinning, cried to sleep.
and the point is?
idk.
received your smsed this morning,
same thingy, "good morning mummie, how are you?"
somehow, i missed it..
but i wasnt smiling like how i owez normally reacted.
my head just start spinning.
asking to myself "why? how ? when? what?"
you said is bcoz we faded badly.
but after so much that we encounter, so much that we had go thru,
you just let it fade? dumping me aside and say that uu are sorry now?
i seek the whole entire world just to get your news.
till i dont know what to do.
can only cried to myself, cp and dii.
what had uu been doing when i was thinking of you?
missing you?
thinking about the past?
you said "i didnt know that i meant so much to you".
what is this?
what kind of shit is this?
do you worth my tears?
i dont know.
im just feeling so much pain now.
till i wanna be left alone.
THINK !
what had turn us into this stage?
i know i neglected you b4 but i was really bz.
i was.
i tried talking to uu over the phone, but uu cant.
ben, what else do you want me to do?
i dont know.
i wonder now,
is getting your sms a good thingy or bad thingy?
i am still thinking of you but at least moving on with my life slowly.
but now, im back at where we 1st ended.
with more pain, more thoughts, more hurt.
wtfuck is happening.
im lost, really lost..
tonite will be the night that i will fall for you.
over again,
dont make me change my mind.
i wont live to see another day,
i swear its true,
because a gurl like you is impossible to find.
impossible to find.
i love you so deeply much, but do you? 7:00 AM