Give Me A Reason To Live On

The Mistress♥

Ting Ting is my name.
I'm a purple + black lover.
I might look strong on the outside,
but definitely weak, inside.

Shouts♥

Her Mood♥

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

Affliates♥

Sok Kim Pei Man
BoyBoy Max Wong
Michie Sabrina
Kc Hui Ying
Audrey Sera
You Jin Rachael
Su-Lyn
Wan Lin
Yvonne Ong Nura
Charmaine Wei Wen
Nathira Jia Li
Elsie Jasmine
Eevonne Dalina
Aliya Kavitha
Kathy Goh Baby
Wei Yan Selina
Xuan XiaoMin
Jiray Ah Jon
Xiao B Snow Mei
Leon Jeanette
Rainie Heavenxanqel
iiMagicJYii Yanny
Aikemii YukariHoney
Si Yuan Jocelyn
Jesmond Ben[vvoshih3ro]

Archives

♥ April 2008
♥ May 2008
♥ June 2008
♥ July 2008
♥ August 2008
♥ September 2008
♥ October 2008
♥ November 2008
♥ December 2008
♥ January 2009
♥ February 2009
♥ March 2009
♥ April 2009
♥ May 2009
♥ June 2009
♥ July 2009
♥ August 2009
♥ September 2009
♥ October 2009
♥ November 2009
♥ December 2009
♥ January 2010
♥ February 2010
♥ March 2010
♥ April 2010
♥ May 2010
♥ June 2010
♥ July 2010
♥ October 2010
♥ April 2011

Credits

Don't even touch this

Basecodes from:
♥chocodiiction-lovesxoxo*
Designer: Miss Vunique
Background by:
Fivepointsapart
Inspired by:
The song When i look at you by Miley Cyrus
Others:
1 2 3

i WISH,

HOPE,

& PRAY !

i love you so deeply much, but do you? 7:18 AM

is monday again ! ^^

and ii slept pretty well last nite :D

i doze off straight away.

this week is gonna be so hectic !!

my challenge and im taking up !!

hopefully things will go on smoothly.

im just gonna hang in there.

hang in there ~..

reached sg around 1.30pm yesterday.

dar drove me to cp house,

but he was asleep x.x

so i ask dar to bring up the dvd and ice kacang to his dad luh =x

the ice kacang is from jb okie..

not sg sucky ice kacang =x

reached home,

n went in to maple liao.

oh yeah! maple sucks yesterday.

so i just download whatever songs i want,

offline and fell asleep from around 2hours.

got up,

went and take my bath and dinner.

was slacking with cp , rick and hao in fm luh.

and yeah..

rick and racheal patched ler (:

hopefully everything will turn out better for the both of them.

lots of things to be done today.

will be pretty bzzzz.. ^^

ahh...

1 more things,

DAR, I MISS YOU ! (:

and i know you read my blog every morning !

ho ho ho ! =P

p/s: dont act like a spoilt brag.. or thought that uu own the whole world with your own thinking...

come on!! get a life.. dont BITCH about other personal things. RESPECT them and not get them into your fucking retard world which you dont even know what will your future be like.. brainless human aint fit to stay in this world.. so fuck off..

i love you so deeply much, but do you? 7:23 AM

ke nen zhen de bu ai le bahs..

gan jue ye tan tiao le..

shuo hao de xin fu ye bu chun zai le.

"ai" ye bu nen jie shi le.

wo men yi jing chen wei jui hao de muo shen ren.

and all i wanted was to make you happy.

the ~~"do you love me?"~~ question,

i no longer know how to answer it.

its not in my heart anymore.

i know you felt that,

i dont have that kind of feeling that i once had towards you.

perhaps im tired.

perhaps things should turn out to be this way right in the beginning.

i dont know neither do i wanna know.

im scare to develop those feeling again because i know that,

hurt will be the outcome again.

life is good now (:

im enjoying it like how i always use to do.

work sucks but friends rocks!!

im smiling again,

so should you. (:

i love you so deeply much, but do you? 7:24 AM

i dont know what are you feeling.

everything seems extremely weird now.

you told me to let go.

you told me to treasure him.

you told me to forget about you.

but why am i not seeing smile on your face when all this that you asked for had been done?

you asked me last nite,

"do you still love me?"

i answered, "i dont know".

maybe this is what others means by,

"tang ni yong you de shi hou, ni bu hui hao hao de qu zhen xi,

tang ni shi qu de shi hou, ni cai lai hou hui."

is that what is happening now baby?

i love you so deeply much, but do you? 7:32 AM

it was like hectic.

i just couldnt get back my energy.

even if ii slept early,

i still woke up with a very tired feeling.

just like ii had been carrying a rock on my shoulder even when im asleep.

shag shag shag ~

i woke up 3.30am just now.

realising that i forgot to off my psp b4 i slept.

so thats the sound of the music instead of my alarm.

turned it off and i can even hear myself telling mummie,

"10 more mins, let me sleep 10 more mins"

when im suppose to wake up at 6.30am?

haiss..

i cant even open my eyes now. ==

my battery are flat to the max.

probably i will just go home earlier from work today.

really buey tahan to the max liao.

will continue what im suppose to continue later on.

MY EYES ARE CLOSING !! D:

the feeling grow.

aint so blunt like last time.

perhaps is the cuddle you gave me when i saw you.

perhaps is the sense of secure that you make me felt.

and little did i know,

im starting to miss you again. <3

i love you so deeply much, but do you? 7:04 AM

this time malacca plan = SCREW UP big time.

is not planned nway.

but it wasnt what i expected either !!!

totally adventures which dont suit me at all !!

a double NO NO for that !!

so here goes the list of screw up stuff.

he suppose to reached like at around 1am but in the end, he reached like 2.15am coz he lost his way in sg!! ._. SHAG TO THE MAX CAN!
so he drove really fast, wanted to reached home even b4 his mum woke up at 6am. 3.30am, still at SG ! ._. .. so estimate the timing yourself pl0x..
at around 4+am, he woke me up, telling me that the car heater meter keep shooting up. told him to off the air con n drive slowly.
reach yong peng 15mins later, POOF! the entire car STOP working !!! can you imagine how dark it is??!! double signal also cant on coz car boh batt !!!!!!
called the toll person, and when they reached, bo bian .. have to toll our car to somewhere ._. ..toll all the way to malacca. for god sake !!! it was the worse nightmare lar !!
reached malacca, have to wait for the repair shop to open. and it was like only 9am when the shop open at 10am ._. ..jialat luh.. just sit in the car without air con for damn 1hour ._.
shopped open, called a cab, got mcd and we just went off to the hotel. i dont dare to go back to his house already coz im sure his mum gonna screw us up for making the car spoilt. hmmph!
so i was left alone in the hotel from 1-6.30pm coz he need to go back to the shop for awhile. D: ..but i was sleeping nway. =x .. woke up like 5.30pm but he havent reached yet. )= .. n he didnt left a phone for me.
so i was waiting n waiting. sad can? )=

he reached at 6.30pm! got my shampoo and body bath!! ^^ .. and we ordered pizza for dinner !! *sinful sinful* .. and everything was okay till the next day!!!

NEXT DAY WAS SHOCKING AND GRRRRRR !!!

TO BE CONTINUE ! DDDD:::

i love you so deeply much, but do you? 7:00 AM

i dont feel like blogging today.

coz theres nth to blog about.

tatas.

i love you so deeply much, but do you? 7:11 AM

was pretty okie at work yesterday.

sharon my manager came back yesterday for a little while (:

and when i ask her why did she come back so sudden,

she said is because of me.

for my pay adjustment that i talk to her the other time (:

hopefully there will really be changes.

reached home around 9pm.

lynn husband fetched sabrina and i home.

teehee! (:

so kind right?

went home, took my bath and log in to maple.

do nth there.

chatted with gary in fm.

you whispered me,

asking me two questions.

"you give up le?"

"you totally let go le?"

i just looked at the screen,

didnt know what to answer.

and i just acted like i dont understand.

i always thought that you will be happier if i let you go.

but your replied was, "no..." .

you said you do miss me.

but did you do anything to show that uu did miss?

to me,

i just felt that, you got your friends around you.

you are enjoying life.

with or without me, it makes no different at all.

am i just a substitute in your life?

what is the exact feeling that uu are feeling now? at this instance?

will you be able to feel the things that im going thru?

i bet you felt that im okay.

why is it so hard?

so damn hard?

anyway, silent is golden.

i will just shut my mouth and heart. (:

and finally is wednesday!

AGM on friday ! ^^

i cant wait !

going out right after the dinner (:

drink drank drunk !! :D:D ..

jiu suan wo men zhi jian you shen me wen ti

yi ran xiang nian zhe ni

sui ran bei fang qi

sui ran wo yuan yi

i love you so deeply much, but do you? 7:00 AM

is raining cats and dogs outside.

nice weather.

for snoring in bed and not getting ready for work. ._.

granny and grandpa will be here today.

till ii dont know when.

AHHH !! my room! my bed !! D:

so i need to sleep in my mum's room.

together with my dad.

omfgwtf!!

sua..bear with it! ._.

breakfast for today is mushroom soup with 2 slices of plain white bread (: !

loving it.

work was pretty hectic.

Mel's daddie just passed away yesterday night.

hhm.. i really felt sorry for her.

can you imagine?

far away from home and you cant even see your dad for the last time?

if i were her,

i will definitely cried till i collapsed.

and yes, i know, im weak.

Julian going re service today.

just 1day nia.

he said he will definitely FAIL.

LOLs.

oh yah,

i got so many games to play now.

maple story, audition, diablo II on9 version and now PERFECT WORLD english version ^^

omg omg omg..

i need 48hours for gaming ! =x

grant me my wish pleeeeaaasssseee.

yea,

is 16o6o9 today.

wanna wish my dearest dearest dearest niece a very very happy birthday !! :D:D

heres my cutie little niece with her b'day cake that we celebrated for her last sat. (:

so yeah.. HAPPY 2nd BIRTHDAY okie.

awww.. shes as cute as her aunty lar.. and that me !!! xP

and and and..

I WANT MY TATTOO REAL SOOOOOOONN PPPPLLLSSSSS D:

xiang ni, xiang ni, hen xiang ni.

i love you so deeply much, but do you? 7:03 AM

nth to talk about.

still very confuse about what and why.

broke down that day.

but i felt much better now.

i love you so deeply much, but do you? 7:53 PM

im owez with emo post.

i dont know why.

perhaps this is me.

emo girl. =]

im living my life well.

going on each day fine without contacting you.

frankly speaking,

i miss you hell lots but i just need to control myself.

"no ting ting. dont touch that phone. dont click his name in msn. not even maple"

whenever i miss you,

i just played the song that you like, which you once sang to me (:

even in the office, on my bed, in front of the pc,

i just listen to the same old song.

i know im a good actor.

act like nth ever happen before.

and as if im going on my life well without you.

you really make me disappointed all the time.

again and again,

i tried to tolerate every hurt and wound that you had done,

but this time,

im really tired le.

extremely exhausted.

everything that you had done and create,

i thank you,

and im sorry for all those fugly lies.

i love you so deeply much, but do you? 7:01 AM

i never needed you to be strong,

i never needed you for pointing out my wrongs,

i never needed pain, i never needed strength,

my love for you was strong enough you should have known.

i never needed you for judgements,

i never needed you to question what i spent,

i never ask for help, i take care of myself,

i don't know why you think you've got a hold for me.

and it's a little late for a conversation,

there isn't anything for you to say,

and my eye's hurt, hand's shiver,

so look at me and listen to me because,

i don't want too, stay another minute,

i don't want you, to say a single word,

hush hush hush hush,

there is no other way, i get the final say because,

i don't want too,do this any longer,

i don't want you, there's nothing left to say,

hush hush hush hush,

i've already spoken, our love is broken.

i never needed your correction,

on everything from how i act to how i say,

i never needed words,

i never needed hurts,

i never needed you to be there everyday.

im sorry for the way i let go,

from everything i wanted when you came along,

but i'm never beaten, broken not defeated,

i know next to you is not where i belong.

i love you so deeply much, but do you? 10:10 PM

i dont want you to come near me for the reason because you pity me.

you dont need to come nearer to me just because you felt that i need you.

can the reason for you sticking to me is because you WANT to instead of you NEED to?

thats the reason why,

im going away~ .. away ~~

i love you so deeply much, but do you? 6:05 PM

so many things was running thru my thoughts last nite.

tears roll down my cheek.

what had happened all this while?

i screw up my 3years relationship just because of a lame excuses and in the end,

the real reason was because i fell for a freaking boy.

i hurt him again n again.

but he never fail to tolerate my nonsense.

to give in to me.

after talking to my cousin yesterday,

only i realise how much i hurt my boyfriend.

im gonna treasure.

learn to love him back b4 its too late.

coz his the only guy in this world,

who really love me.

i should treasure ppl who treasure me too!

A new starting,

A new beginning,

A new challenge.

and what over is over.

is time to wake up from my childish act. (:

to be loved is so much better than to love.

i love you so deeply much, but do you? 7:12 AM

{ Marks & Spencer choco cookies from karen <3 }

things really change so fast.

not only in my life.

but also ppl hu are around me.

how i wish things could just change back like how it always use to be.

and again,

i misses you so.

i love you so deeply much, but do you? 9:43 PM

i always nag and complained,

about you,

always walking in front of me.

but come to think about it,

i wish we can do this again,

and neither will i complain even if you are miles away from me.

you are walking forward in life,

and me,

just wanna stay behind your back,

be there for you and help you whenever you needed me.

and to be your shadow like i always did.

even if you wont turn your back to even take a quick glance at me,

it doesnt matter as long as you are happy and safe.

and thats all i ever ask for.

i love you so deeply much, but do you? 5:33 PM

in my MEMORIES, alway. {LIMPEIMAN}

I'm a lucky girl.

oh yes, i AM a lucky girl.

i'm blessed with loads of frens n family who cares about me.

but there are times when i just wana bitch about anything tats's happening around me,

not realising how lucky am i.

but well, isnt every gal the same? =p

i've been blessed with a guardian angel since i was young.

and she's none other than my beloved Ting Ting. =)

In August 1988, she was the 1st 'friend' i made when when we were napping next to each other. she even offered me her pacifier.

how sweet is tat?

haha...since then,

we alwiz have our meals 2getha,

drinking milk milk from our milk bottles.

n did i mention tat we like to do gymnastics stunts 2getha?

haha....i'll upload pics of us when i've time.

but then things took a drastic turn when we were around 3 years old.

we'll shout at each other, fight for toys, push each other's head, slap, kick, punch n do loads of silly things.

In short, we became enemies.

but one fine day,

when she and her maid were making fruit juice in the kitchen.

i hid behind the door, wanting to join in the fun.

but i was too egoistic to ask.

but she realised tat, and invited me to join them.

Tat was the fateful event when we became best frens.

from then on, we were inseperable.

played masak masak 2getha,

went shopping with our mums,

waited for pa-pu-pa-pu 2getha

(in case u're wondering wats pa-pu-pa-pu, its the junk food vendor whick goes around the taman on motorcycle)

and played other silly games when we were stil kids.

we went to the same primary school and got into the same class.

she was the one who protected me when i was bullied.

ok, i kinda got bullied, so? =p

n i can vividly remember one day,

when we were having our lunch 2getha.

i was eating mee siam n i duno how the hell the meesiam 'jumped' into my eyes.

i was crying in pain n of coz, i seek refuge n turned to her.

n of coz she was ther n ready to help me when my eyes were stinging with pain.

we spent the rest of the primary years 2getha.

of coz, there have been ups and downs but nothing was able to jeorpardize our couzship.

(ahem, its cousinship. =p)

in my opinion, our couzship during the secondary school years were more in-depth.

as in, we'll open up n confide in each other about our probs and all,

which is good coz our it strengthened our relationship.

she's a 'fengshui master' by nature.

haha..not exagerating here.

she can predict or just pass any casual remark.

and it comes true in the end. freaky, but true.

whenever i've any probs, i'll sure confide her.

be it family or matter of the hearts.

i rely on her so much tat,

at sum point of time,

i allowed myself to be a weakling because i noe tat she'll be there for me no matter wat.

i'll go look for her with tears in my eyes when im heartbroken.

n she'll alwiz, alwiz, be ther for me with arms wide open.

but now, she's left to KL to pursue her studies.

360 KMs apart, but just one call away.

but tis is the 1st time tat we're so far apart for such a long time.

but, oh well...tats life and its time to leave the comfort zone.

but its a life of harsh reality tat we've to welcome.

i rily hope tat, (Ting Ting, i noe u'll be reading this) no matter wat, remember ur promises.

u're after all a teenager who's prone to succumbing to temptations and influences.

but alwiz remember tat, no matter wat, i'll zalwiz be there for u, just like how u were there for me.

i'll miss you loads.

haha..i noe tis sounds emomomo,

but rily, we've had each other around since young.

so its inevitable for us to be so emomomo.=)

and yeah, in case u're wondering, we're STRAIGHT.

not lesbians. haha...she's attached.

and me, on the other hand, erm..i tink im a bisexual.

haha..coz im in luv with my darling galfrens. =p

btw, tis entry is in baby blu, ting's favourite colour. =D

LoveLove,

*Man Man

remember this post dearie?

i was looking back at ur blog,

and again,

i remember that uu once wrote a great post for me.

till today,

it touched my heart.

we had been thru so much together.

our relationship might be just cousin,

but to me,

it something that ii cant describe.

tears roll down my cheek when i read back this post.

things change so fast.

and all ii ever wanted was to see that cheeky smile on ur face.

i want you to relay on me again.

tell me your probs.

never do i wanna see you sad and i remember clearly,

whenever a boy hurt you,

my whole gang will stand by you.

kids..

but im sure you dont want such things to happen like b4,

i love you.

you know that.

its been 21years since we are together.

and PLEASE remember,

there is owez me by ur side.

see all those highlighted words.

remember them.

i love you so deeply much, but do you? 7:15 AM